Enough Love

1

When she yearned to block out the voices in her head, the five hours of thumping exercise at the gym gave her no opportunity to stay up at night, she would be too exhausted to entertain any nightmare.

She raised her arm, giving way to a sleepy cat as he snuggled from her waist to her lap. "As long as we've got each other we are good." She rubbed his ears which pleased him and made her smile.

"They just keep coming back," she whispered, to the walls of her room and the silence it held. "I don't know what else to do." Her thoughts betrayed her. It always found a back door into a part of her life she desperately wanted to neglect.

She watched Grumpy stir in her lap, her warmth coated his furs and in a minute his breathing grew even and low.

"Rude animal, I don't feed you to sleep while I ramble about my life." Louisa picked him up and then placed him safely on his pillow.

It wasn't that she didn't have people in her life, she mused, as she paced away from his spot, she did but she never let them get too close. Friends tend to ask too many questions and she wasn't a big fan of answering. Like where is your family? Why do you stay away from social media? Why don't you celebrate your birthday? What was living in an orphanage for a decade like? She had tried to swerve through several questions but it never ended well, especially in a relationship or friendship where she wasn't ready to render vulnerability. Sometimes it wasn't that she didn't want to let people in, she was just tired of the unending circle of disloyalty.

She paused with her arms braced to her waist and surveyed her large bedroom. Her salary gave her the luxury she didn't seem to need. Grey, silky curtains spread through two windows which sneaked tiny rays of light onto her queen-sized bed. The cream-painted walls complemented the lamp stool by her bedside and the walk-in closet with every clothing and accessory she could afford. Shopping was a comfortable activity for her.

She pulled her knuckles through her hair and groaned, her room needed an upgrade. Or maybe it was her recent need for change projecting itself. Lately, she found herself wondering where time had gone, she needed more that the dull repetition that was her life. Outside work, church, and more work she didn't have much and she wanted that to change. She wanted more even though she wasn't sure what more looked like. So the best she could do was start with what she understood. Like a flicking light bulb, Louisa knew what she would do for her birthday.

"Grumpy, guess what," she began when he stretched awake from one of his short naps, "I'm going to redecorate, not just the apartment, our lives." She paused and strolled into her closet in search of an outfit. "I mean, the gym and hospital are all my life is about. We need some sort of adventure. We will redecorate first then we. . . we will. . ."

Louisa pouted to a stop, she didn't know what to do afterward. "We'll figure it out later, right now it's to the mall." The excitement from the change was new to her and it came with a thin thread of fear.

She chose high-waist blue jean trousers and a black crop top which had a red chested initial, Bring it on! She pulled her braids into a ponytail then picked up a black handbag before slipping pedicured feet into a white sandal as she applied some lip gloss in front of the mirror. The writing on her top was exactly the new mantra she needed for life

"How do I look?" She rotated from the mirror to her snoring roommate. She rolled her eyes and chuckled, the lazy cat was back to sleep.

She wished she could carry him with her but the witchy stereotypical opinions of cats in her country wouldn't let her. Despite her pet's slumber, it didn't stop Louisa from calling out her usual instructions as she made her way out, "No friends over, stay out of my makeup box and the fridge. Understood?"

She took his slumbering silence as a yes. Satisfied at the inaudible response, she stepped out of her two-bedroom luxurious apartment to her car.

It took her twenty minutes without traffic to arrive at her destination. She strolled to the section for homely decorations, her stride through the glamorous shelves told Louisa that she had no insight into interior decoration. She knew what she wanted but had no idea how to put it together. It was hectic and irksome. This was why people hired interior decorators, she sighed. Her repetitive stroll ended in front of a shelf that consisted of contraceptives. Louisa frowned, what did condoms and morning pills have to do with home decorations?

She picked up a pregnancy test kit and giggled at the image of her using one of those, Her life of spinsterhood didn't acknowledge the existence of the stick. She turned the straight, pink pack around and focused on the instructions like she needed one urgently. The scientist in her was always curious about things unknown to her and the fact that a woman of her age didn't know exactly how a pregnancy test stick worked was quite embarrassing.

Her focus on the pink package wavered when she heard a name she had not heard for a very long time. At first, Louisa thought the call belonged to someone else. Her thought was put to shame when a light tap fell on her elbow, she lifted her head to the intruder.

Her brows still set in a frown, she eyed the pregnant lady in front of her. "Can I help you?"

"I can't believe it, it's you! Don't tell me you don't remember me. Of course, you won't. It's the swollen belly right and of course, I'm not little anymore, though a lot of people say I still have my baby face." There was an excessive use of hand and shoulder gestures for Louisa to focus on the face before her. The only descriptive word that came to her mind was eccentric.

At Louisa's blunt expression, the pregnant woman chuckled softly, "It's me! Aminatu, your cousin. You are not supposed to remember me, I'm not a child anymore. I mean it's been a very very long time and, oh, nai kewarki sosai 'yar uwa."

The fact that a stranger was conversing so familiarly with her was not the only thing that freaked Louisa out. It was the stranger's voice, her rambling lips, and her gestures. Recognition sneaked into Louisa's senses, it was like an ugly hand from the past, in form of a bubbling pregnant woman, had risen to smack her across her cheek.

The package in her hand fell to the ground, she stared at her baby cousin in fright and wonder. How did she find her? Were there more of them? Why couldn't she move her feet and run, to another country, another continent, or the universe? Her brain spun with butchering questions. Cold, familiar hands reached for her spine, twisting it till the physical burn of fear settled on her prickling skin.

"I'm so sorry, in your condition I shouldn't startle you." Her pregnant little cousin bent, with much strain, to pick up the test strip. "I hope it's positive. You know what, let's have lunch then we can talk about the lucky guy."

Louisa blinked twice at her then once more for utmost clarity, lunch! At that moment, she knew Bring it on! the mantra was a fraud. She wasn't ready, not for this. She remained speechless to the woman who kept on rambling, unbothered by her lack of speech.

When life gives you lemons you make lemonade, right? Louisa knew the answer to that. But when life gives her a cousin she hasn't seen for over a decade, on excruciating purpose. What in heavens sake would she make from that?

*---------------------------------------*
Translation:
(Hausa) Nai kewarki sosai 'yar uwa :- I have missed you so much, sister.

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Tbh, my fav character right now is Grumpy😂

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