Diary of a black girl

chapter1 .

It's finally my 14th birthday , who would've ever thought i'd be here to see the day ? my life has been the pits ever since i started the 7th grade , it's been nothing but challenge after challenge . A knock on my door pulls me out of my thoughts as the door is slowely pushed open and my mom is standing next to it as she sings the awful Happy birthday song i've heard thousands of times . I force a smile as she gives me a tight hug .

" How do you feel angel ? " my mom asks in a low voice .

" I feel , okay " is all i manage to say

" okay ? Honey it's your birthday "

" Yes ma , i feel great then " i pull the fakest smile as i lie . I wish this day could end already , im not ready for the fake " Happy Birthday's " from relatives i haven't seen in ages .

I force myself out of bed to take a shower . I take off all my clothes and step into the shower . The hot water hits my cold skin and it feels so therapeutic . My favourite playlist is playing in the backround and i sing along to all the songs without a care in the world . It feels great , not caring , it feels amazing .

I turn off the water as it starts to get cold and i step out of the shower wrapping myself in a towel . I close the door of my room and I lotion my body , pulling up pink sweat pants from my legs to my waist and i pull a matching hoodie from my head . The weather today doesn't seem promising . I run down the stairs and into the kitchen and on top of the counter stands a two tier cake written " Happy Birthday Amanda " the cake seems awful and so i guess my mother made it , she answers my thoughts when she comes into the kitchen and sings that terrible happy birthday song again , I thank her with a smile . I appreciate her baking a cake for me , as awful as it looks , she still took time to bake me a cake .

" Your uncle called , " I roll my eyes seeing as i expected this " He said he called you a few times , " i then remember that i switched off my phone in the morning to avoid the thousand texts and calls .

" And ? " i ask knowing where this is going .

" He was wishing you a happy birthday , he sent you a R500 shopping voucher , isn't that great ? " My mom says with a huge smile on her face .

" Yes , thanks " i say cutting a slice of the cake .

" Amanda ... You need to show a little more emotion , be a little more grateful , everyone around you is trying and you're shutting us out " she sounds worried .

" i'm okay ma , you need to stop trying " i sound harsh and i only realise after the words have left my mouth . I quietly stand up and leave the room , heading for the lounge . I take my seat as i prepare to watch " The DUFF " which i've watched a thousand times already .

I feel the material of blanket over me and it takes me a few minutes to realise i actually dozed off while watching tv .  I drag my body upstairs and into my room . I pull my phone out of my drawer and when i switch it on , thousands of birthday wishes flood through , most of them from my  current boyfriend but he seems quite worried about my absence and so i dial his number and he picks up on the second ring .

" hello , baby ? " he says into the speaker " where have you been , i've been worried sick about you "

" Hi , i'm okay my phone just switched off and i forgot to charge it " i lie avoiding any sort of conversation

" You sound down , what's up ? "

" I think we should just end this , i haven't been myself lately and i don't want to bother you with my problems " i quickly say hoping he doesn't give me problems .

" What ? Why ? What do you mean ? "

" I mean just that Mark , I need to focus more on myself and a relationship would just distract me . "

" Fine , but if you change your mind , I'll be waiting for you . "

" I won't " are my last words as i drop the call and block his number , he seriously is a distraction , a huge one and i can't afford any .

I lie on my back and try to clear my mind , and to forget him , everything about him and it seems to be working . I close my eyes and im woken up by my alarm the next morning ...

( this chapter was short but im a beginner , the following chapter will be long enough to satisfy , your reads will be much appreciated , please support young talent . Admin . <3 )