His Eyes

Yes Or No

Ever since Shinichi returned to her in Beika, he wasn't quite the same guy he was when he left so suddenly. Of course, she knew they had both changed over that course of time. They both had physically matured, grew mentally stronger and became more emotionally stable with age but this was different.

The changes she notices in him are subtler that just general physical, mental or emotional changes.

For one, this new Shinichi was less arrogant and rude. He still had moments of being a tad bit too overconfident, especially when he was solving a particularly challenging case but that confidence was a more of a quite confidence than his previously pompous way of making everything into a show. Ignoring fan-girls and their various letters and gifts was something he would have never done. Ran hoped this was due to their relationship, but she still couldn't believe the moments he took Detectives Takagi or Sato to the side to share his deductions so that they could take credit for breaking the case. The Shinichi she knew would have never done that as he wanted to show the world his brilliance, deservedly so, but this Shinichi seemed to like being behind the scenes.

This new Shinichi was more reserved, more controlled over his actions. In the past, whenever they were any sign of a potential crime scene or shady activity, the old Shinichi would rush in headfirst, safety and others with him be damned. While this new Shinichi still loved investigating crime scenes and following suspicious characters, he was much more mindful of the situation as a whole, especially if he was with her and other people.

While becoming less arrogant and rude and being more reserved in his actions would be seen as welcomed changes, the biggest change could be seen in his eyes.

His eyes that were once filled with a certain innocence and an excitement to see and experience all the world has to offer were now hardened and sharp. Even though he has seen death, murder and other unspeakable cruelties mankind is capable from past crimes, his eyes never changed as much as it did when he returned from his prolonged absence. The eyes that he carries now are anything but innocent. They are cold, calculating and brought an uncomfortable chill to her spine whenever she looks into them for too long. No matter how hard she tried to bring those eyes back to their previous state, she never could. His eyes would never lose their sharp, cold edge no matter how hard he laughed and smiled.

She didn't know or even want to think about what kind of horrors he had to have seen and experience for his eyes to undergo such a transformation.

But whatever he did undergo, it changed Kudo Shinichi more than she thought possible.

It was like the Shinichi she knew and fell in love through their youths died that day at Tropical Land over 2 and a half years ago, and was replaced by the new, different Shinichi when he came back into her life.

Though he should be the same guy she fell in love with, he wasn't.

He wasn't her Shinichi.

"…ry me, Ran?"

Ran broke out of her musing and became aware of the present moment. She and Shinichi had just finished a date at a very romantic, very expensive restaurant and were walking through Beika Central Park hand in hand under the natural glow of moonlight. When she turned to face her companion, she was momentarily stunned when she saw him on one knee, presenting a gorgeous diamond and sapphire studded platinum ring to her, unsure hope etched on his face.

Shinichi took the stunned expression on her face in stride and repeated his question, once again.

"Will you marry me, Ran?"

Ran could only continue to stare at the scene in front of her as time seemed to have paused. This is what she always wanted ever since she admitted to herself that she loved him when she was barely even 13 years old. This moment right here. After years of dreaming about the day Shinichi would propose to her, now that dream was a reality. Her fantasy was manifesting itself this very moment.

Yet, it didn't feel right.

She always pictured herself jumping into his arms even before he could ever finish the question, screaming at the top of her lungs and eyes full of happy tears. They would share an intense kiss afterward as he would lift her off her feet and spin her around like she always saw in the movies. He was her hero and she was his princess. They have been destined to be together. It would all fit in perfectly.

Yet here she was, thoughts traveling her mind at the speed of light, too stunned to even say a single word.

'Yes!'

She wants to scream out but cannot. The concerns that plagued her mind just a moment before are coming back with a resilient vengeance, refusing to be silenced by her desires of accepting his proposal.

The stronger part of her mind can fight it down though. They could work out all their problems, it tells her. She waited so long to be with him when he left and this was her reward for her patience and faithfulness. Love was supposed to be hard, they could work through it like they have worked through all their previous problems, together. She could make this work; they would make this work.

All she had to do was say one word.

"No."