Sunshine mixed with a little Hurricane

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Weekends are boring to be honest. Basically it's fun for people who want to party and spend the next day lying around with their heads in sinks.
Well I don't fall in that category to be honest because I am broke and my friends aren't rich either. Sounds dope I know but it's true.
Classes got over at 5pm and home was not the first thing that I wanted to go. I thought of wasting some more time in the cafeteria. Suddenly someone shove me from behind;

'Hey Sam! '
'God you really should stop doing that Ayan. It's not funny and most importantly it's lame. And by the way it's been just 5 mins since we stopped talking and here you are shoving me off with your hi. '

*giggles**
'That's it? You are going? '
'I don't want to. '
'So let's go and roam about for sometime like useless vagabobonds. '
'Sure. I mean it's better than going home at least. '
'Exactly. You wanna grab a coke or something. '
'Yeah of course. I am exhausted with the weird lecture about John Donne. '
'Well the lecture sucks because let's just say that professor is totally boring. '
'Hey! He is not boring. He is just a bit in to descriptions. '
'Yeah right. Look who got a bit offended when I claimed the professor to be boring.
I get it you have a immense crush on him but I don't know how can you like someone like that. Like he is so offbeat compared to your preference background. '

'Well in my defense, he is cute. He has a genuine nice smile and yes it's just a crush so it never made any sense to me either. '

*laughs his ass off after the whole monologue I gave**

'Forget it. You are never gonna understand. '
'I am so sorry but it's funny dude. Like this is so not you. '
'I know. But whatever! '
'Yeah whatever! '
'Hey stop copying me. '

*copies anyway**
'Yeah deepshit. Anyway let's buy a coke. '
'Alright then. '
'So.. '
'So.... What exactly? '
'Why don't you join tinder? '
'Well I don't know I tried doing the tinder but hey it didn't got off so well. But yeah I got proposed by a middle age divorcee though. '
'And...? '
'And I said no of course. I mean I am not really ready or something. I don't know what is it.
My love life is quite similar to a stupid kid waiting for a wave to come, and when it does he starts running. Also he cries when the waves are far away. Lol. '

'That is so you. I think you should read some books about how to not be a pain in the ass. '

'Hey! I tried okay? It's not my fault if the guys are somehow turning out to be a wrong one. '
'Shit happens I know. But then you are the bestest and hence it takes time for people to see the most precious one.
So dont worry you will have your part of happy ending. '

'You are the only guy who praises the crap outta me. Rest are just like running away from affection. Just so you know you are the nicest guy I've ever met. '

'Well I know I am supremely talented and so handsome that I can't stop embracing myself. '

'Here we go with your narcissism at its peak. '

*both giggles at how stupid we are**

'Let's sit somewhere, my legs are going to collapse. '
'Lol. Sure. '

'Sam! You have plans for your future right? '
'No Ayan. I don't even know what I am going to do after 5 minutes. '
'That's so not true. Come on I am being serious. Not always I am on the verge of cracking lame jokes. '

*sighs heavily**

'Ayan I don't plan for my future anymore.
I can't plan on my future because nothing is ever certain in life. I have seen failure so much that I can't gather enough confidence to stand back again.
There was a time when I was so certain of what I want to do, what makes me happy, what my priorities are, etc.

But now I am clueless. You know why? because I realized the only things that are certain in life is you and your sets of dreams, passion and priorities. But the rest of the things are not in your control. The financial stuffs, the emotional support ,the opportunities and the encouragement was always missing.

Now when I think of doing something, I am just scared of whether I can do it or not. It's not like I didn't try, I did but I couldn't unfortunately. '

'What did you want to do, if not this? '

'It will sound crazy so forget it. '

'Come on you know I won't judge. '

'Well I always thought I am in to the whole world of food and exotic flavors. I have always wanted to be a chef, and I always will. Those little containers filled with different flavors and colours gave me a next level happiness.

I don't know how to say this but kitchen was the only place I always felt belonged to. It was the only thing that made me so happy after a rough day. But then you know , I wasn't encouraged or given any kind of support at all.
Not that I hate studying English honors or something but it's just....
I don't know I feel like I don't belong here. '

'I can totally feel you. I can so relate to these things. That's why I want to leave this place as soon as we graduate. I want to go some other place where there is a sense of appreciation and calm. '

'You wanted to become a priest right? '

'Yeah. I have always known that I do belong there. And I won't let anyone ruin my dreams just because they don't believe in it. I believe in myself, at the end ;that is all that matters in life.

And just so you know you shouldn't give up either. Don't let your passion and dreams go away, just because there is no one else to support you. You can do it, you know you can. Just believe in yourself. '

'Well! I won't give up this time for sure and I will do my best. '

*scoffs**

'Won't you miss this place when you leave? '

'Well I will. But then these three years all I am going to do is gather a bunch of memories I could hold to for a lifetime.

But most importantly I am gonna miss our friendship. So you can visit me there whenever you want to. And yeah I will invite you to my special occasions of course. '

'Good! Because if you don't invite, I am gonna make sure that I come up there and smash your head through the walls. Is that clear? '

'Of course.
Will you miss me? '

'Who? You?
Of course not. I'll miss the lame jokes and your narcissism though. '

*giggles**

'Okay let's go home, it's getting dark. '
'Yeah sure. Bye. '
'Bye.'

*sighs**

Some people are so weird but beautiful. They come in your life like some univited breeze, then they enter your personal spaces to make you happy. And the very moment you start getting attached to them, some stronger wind drives them away.
There time is so limited, that you want to hold on to them. And when they finally start to leave, you realize there were infinite things that were left unsaid.
All you are left with, is there beautiful memories.
Some relationships don't have a specific name. Some friendships are just more than the word itself. Some emotions have no definite genre. And yes some people are just more than important than you think they are. There absence leaves a void in you and for me it always will be Ayan. Ayan the narcissistic best friend plus soulmate I earned in my lifetime will always remain the closest to my heart.
      
    
                             ~🌸❤~