Confessions of an Omega

Chapter 1, Confession: I'm an omega

His head blocked the sun and covered my eyes in shadow.

That’s all I was ever in. The shadows.

 “Yes?” I gulped as I stood in his presence. Most people would nod at him with respect but he hadn’t earned mine yet. All he had earned was my jealousy, and that wasn’t a good thing.

That’s when I spotted his mate, Lupa, emerging from the forest. She didn’t look as frustrated as Marrok so I guessed she might have won the argument.

“We have-” He started,

“Some bad news for you.” Lupa appeared at his side; obviously they hadn’t had an argument after all. Lupa always seemed to finish his sentences; it made me feel all warm and gooey inside. They were such a perfect match.

Part of me felt jealous but I knew there was a mate somewhere out there for me…. Probably a human mate… but still a mate.  Omegas usually ended up with human mates, due to the fact they are the lowest form of wolf. But that was fine with me.

“There is something in our forests,” Lupa said as Marrok wrapped his arms around her, still failing to hide the frustration on his face. I watched as she leaned into him and that unspoken connection sparked in between them.

“And it’s eating our food.” He said gruffly, clearly glaring at me. Lupa nudged him. I guess she wasn’t all that bad behaved with me. She and another lower wolf (Tate) were the only people that didn’t completely overlook me.

I was thankful in a way for that. At least the alpha’s mate knew I existed, and not because she constantly snapped at me.

“Being the omega, you will have to go without food, so the rest of the pack can eat. Only wolf food of course, you can have more human food so you don’t completely waist away.” She grinned as if she was paying me a favour.

Because that’s going to happen, I said sarcastically in my head. They would never give me more food and I knew it. I guess I would just have to scavenge any food that I could. Maybe even go to my huma friends house’s to clear out their shelves.

I nodded sheepishly and watched them walk away mindlessly. They didn’t know it, but slowly, very slowly, they were killing one of their own pack members.

It was pretty bad that they had just told me my wolf wouldn’t eat for ages and I was completely fine with it. But I guess that comes from getting used to being the lowest wolf, the omega. I guess I couldn’t do anything to stop it, I was an omega.

All I could do is smile and watch myself waist away.

Because that’s what omegas do.

                “Cathy, you ok?” I heard Tate say, as he walked towards me. Tate was, in a way, my only friend here. He wasn’t really a friend, but he talked to me. Unlike the others, who all just talked at me.

Tate wasn’t a high ranking wolf in our small pack; actually I think he was the lowest next to me. He was so close to achieving the omega position, it was me saving him.

I realised I’d been in the same spot for about an hour looking at the garden. I smiled and looked to Tate, appreciating the fact he would care.

“I’m fine.” I squeaked. Damn you, low self-confidence.

“You looked possessed or something.” He chuckled and I let the corners of my mouth raise slightly. I glanced side-wards at him to see him grinning like a fool. Something in me wanted to make a joke, make him think I wasn’t just this pathetic little omega. But the problem was that I was just a pathetic little omega.

“Is there any food inside?” I asked quietly. I already knew there was, there was always food. Not that they let me have any. Tate turned his head around and then turned back to me. He nodded subtlety and I followed him inside.

“Hey Cathy, you’re looking a little… thin lately. Want some food?!” The beta laughed and nudged at his mate. She laughed with him and I looked to the ground as they childishly threw grapes at me.

What a waste of grapes.

Tate walked past them and with all the strength I had, did the same. He led me to the table and he picked up a chocolate bar. I reached out to do the same, like I was a shadow of his or something.

“That’s not for you,” Laughed the beta’s mate. I cringed and pulled my hand backwards. Everything I did seemed wrong. I knew they were joking but now I’d reacted I couldn’t act as if it hadn’t happened.

The beta’s laughed together, and I had to say they made a perfect match. Kelly, the girl, was a complete bitch and the boy, Conall, was exactly the same in male form. Seriously, a match made in heaven… or hell.

…Probably hell.   

Without second thought I scurried from the room and made my way back outside. My room was up two flights of stairs and I knew I’d run into someone else who could potentially knock my mood even further so I decided outside was the safest option.

I ran off the patio and onto the grass, but stopped myself before the entrance of the forest. I’d never been in there alone.

“Hey, hey, Cathy!” Tate shouted from behind me. I knew he wasn’t going to insult me but I didn’t really feel like having any sort of conversation right now. But I guess I never really felt like conversation ever. “You wanted the bar?” He asked, and I turned round.

He’d mentioned food. I was interested.

He approached me and in his hand was the chocolate bar I’d reached for before. My eyes started to water a little bit. So Cinderella would eat the chocolate after all.

I took it and whispered thank you.  I swear I was drooling. Yes, I’m not some person who didn’t eat at all but eating when it wasn’t meal time was something of a luxury to me.

Tate nodded and noticed my lack of energy to converse with him, It’s either that or he got bored of watching me stuff my mouth, and left.  I’ll go with he noticed my lack of energy, it gives me more dignity.

And an omega needs all the dignity they can get, because trust me; it isn’t handed to them on a plate.

{If you're reading this because you LOOVE werewolf books, I suggest you add my new book 'Wild Bloods' to your reading list!}