Our Future (BILLIE EILISH)

- T h i r t y s e v e n -

"The story of how I ended up making my decision is, about a week ago. I was having a fitting, and my manger was sitting there with me and she was like 'you need to make a decision by tomorrow' and I knew that. So my manager already knew about it, my photographer already knew about it. And then I talked to Claudia about what to do, because I literally have three friends. But I love Claudia so it's fine. But the main person in my life is Billie, and I didn't wanna tell her because she would tell me to do it because- you know sometimes I really forget I'm talking to a camera."

"So when I was talking with Claudia, she told me to make a list." I came to a stop light, and I realized that I have to clue where I'm going. I connected my phone to car and I pushed Starbucks on my recent locations. "What was I talking about? Oh yeah, the list. She told me to make a pros and cons list, but there was one pro and it outweighed all the cons. Well anyways, Billie saw the list I was making and she didn't know what was going on. Then I told her and her first reaction was so cute. She told me that it was amazing I got the offer and I should do it."

"I'm not talking about this to make it seem like I'm complaining about the offers I'm getting, because that's not why I'm making this video. Every second I have to tell myself that it's worth it, and I made the right decision. And out of everyone I talked to, they all told me to do different things and gave me so much advice. But they all advised me to do it, Holden told me that I won't know if I don't try. Claudia told me relatively the same thing, my manager didn't force me to do it because the plan was to stop booking things in late February so I could go on tour."

"But like I said, I'm not complaining or anything. But like I really don't wanna move my whole life to London, I don't wanna take my dog or move Kenzie and Holden out there because they have their own lives outside of my team. And I don't wanna make them move out there, but I literally wouldn't be able to do it without them. I just bought a house, and I would actually like to live in it. But if I was going on tour, I wouldn't care less about my house and living in it. I don't know dude, it's just a lot going on through my head."

"So I don't know the plan for YouTube videos in London either, I need to have another meeting now that I'm in a better place mentally. But I don't want them to stop, because I really like filming and I really like planning videos. Because this isn't the main part of my career, you can't put me in a box because I've done everything. I model, I make videos, I make clothes. Like you can't put a label on me and I like that. So since this isn't the main part of my career, I like it because it's almost like a side thing. It's not my priority, but I make sure I get a video up every Monday."

I pulled up to the little shopping strip that Starbucks is in, and it's barely noon so I have almost an hour before I have to be there. I looked at my phone once I was parked, and I saw that Claudia asked to FaceTime when I was free.

FaceTiming Claud's:

Claudia: "Hi!"

Maddie: "Hi, what are you doing?"

Claudia: "Editing a video, I just needed an excuse to stop." She smiled.

Maddie: "Well I'm filming a video." I pointed my phone at the camera.

Claudia: "I have never seen a car setup look like that." She laughed.

Maddie: "I was in a rush."

Claudia: "Why?"

Maddie: "Because I didn't wanna wake Billie, and I didn't want her to distract me from leaving."

Claudia: "So what are you filming?"

Maddie: "I'm having a breakdown, So I'm going to cut my hair and bleach the underneath. Like the trend that's going around, you know what I'm talking about."