𝕙𝕖𝕣 𝕘𝕝𝕒𝕤𝕤 𝕔𝕒𝕤𝕥𝕝𝕖 ~

𝟙.𝟠 𝕡𝕠𝕝𝕒𝕣𝕠𝕚𝕕

"𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚒𝚝 𝚖𝚢 𝚒𝚖𝚊𝚐𝚒𝚗𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗?
𝚒 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍'𝚟𝚎 𝚜𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚗 𝚒 𝚜𝚊𝚠 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞
***
𝚠𝚎 𝚝𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚊 𝚙𝚘𝚕𝚊𝚛𝚘𝚒𝚍
𝚌𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚒𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚎𝚢𝚎𝚜"

----

Two hours later, after being forcefully dragged through two medical assessments and sitting through an uncomfortable x-ray, I'm waiting for the bad news.

Then, a nurse walks into my room and tells me that Dad's here.

Gulp. Now, you might be wondering why this is bad news? Well, as Astrid graciously informed me earlier, this is my second time in hospital, in the same week... are you scared now too? Also... there was the fact that I'd absolutely wrecked his precious Lambo. Basically, I'm a dead girl walking.

Hesitantly, I use my crutches to scuttle out of the room. Apparently, there'd not been that much damage to my external body. Apart from a few scratches and a broken leg, I was fine.

As I hop down the hallway, I glance into rooms with open doors. I wonder which room was Astrid's...

"Teagan?"

I look up and Dad was standing there.

My eyes water.

His black hair is speckled with grey and his usual stubble had grown into a scruffy beard. Usually bright with a mischievous glint, his eyes had sunken into the hollows of his face. But I'm trembling on the verge of tears because of his broken voice, that sounded empty and lifeless. What have I done to him.

"D-dad." There's something heavy and large in my throat, so my words aren't louder than a whisper.

Before I can even blink, he hurtles towards me and I'm engulfed in his mammoth arms. I feel the sobs wracking his body, and swallow my own tears. It was his turn to let it go, and I'd be there for him.

Releasing my grip on the crutches, I wrap my arms as far as they'll go around his wide torso. I don't comment on the growing witness I feel on my shoulder.

"I thought I lost you too!" he cries.

My heart aches for this man, who's been destroyed by loss and grief by the loss of his wife. How close he came to losing his daughters as well...

At this thought, rage roars in my ears for the reckless drunkard who ploughed into us. I could've died... Astrid could've died.

After a moment, Dad lifts me into his arms and we walk into my room, forgetting the discarded crutches.

"I'm sorry Daddy," I murmur, "I just wanted to find Astrid..."

"I know, sweetie." He places me on my bed, leaves and returns with my crutches.

Although he's no longer crying, his eyes are blood-shot and fatigued. Guilt is not enough to describe what I feel, to know that I caused this. "Dad, are you angry?"

He looks at me, then away. "No..." He's crying again... why is he crying again?

I wait, quieting my own sobs.

Once he composes himself again, he speaks again, "Darling, Astrid... Astrid..."

Astrid, what? I'm about to tell him I already saw her today, until I remember that I promised to not to tell. Impatiently, I wait for him to continue.

"Darling, I'm going back to Chicago for some-" he chokes, "-work. I just wanted to say goodbye before I left..."

He doesn't look at me... like the sight of me repels him. Did Dad... hate me? A loud sob escapes my throat. I shiver with the effort of concealing my sorrow.

"Don't cry, Teagan," he soothes, coming to rest a hand on my arm gently, "I'll be back before you know it... There's just some... important business."

I sob harder. "Dad, please don't hate me." I look up at him, but the blur of tears blinds me. "I know I've made mistakes. And I hurt you, and it's my fault-"

"I could never hate you, sweetie," I feel his lips against my forehead. "Goodbye Teagan."

I continue to cry silently as the click of the door indicates he's gone.

Moments later, soft fingertips caress my cheeks, and I curl into her warmth to hide away in my safe place-

The darkness.

***

When I wake up, Astrid is gone. Probably back to her own room, as it's dark now.

A sliver of moonlight makes the clock on the wall barely visible. I'm pretty sure it's ten past eleven. I groan, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. Did I sleep the entire day?

I look around the hospital room, looking for something to do, or read, or play, or even draw on... nothing. What would I do the entire night? I sigh before my eyes land on a black case beside my pink suitcase by the grand window.

Without my crutches, I hobble towards it and kneel down on the cool marble floor. Carefully, my fingers find the zipper and unfastened it. Inside lays a sky blue guitar. With it, a note: Hope you like it, T - very rare and vintage so don't break it like the other one! xx, Astrid

I wonder how it got there. Dad must've seen it and brought it with my stuff from home, I decide.

Guiltily, my hands fly to my neck to make sure her first gift is still there. Much to my relief, the diamond pendant hangs at the base of my throat. I think of the CDs and custom made charm bracelet lying in my room, frustrated that I didn't get a chance to give my presents to her. Perhaps, I would ask Dad to send it here.

Excitedly, I pick the acoustic guitar up and run my fingers over the cool smooth strings. I haven't played in months, not since I'd smashed my last one in a raging fit - don't ask. And now the prospect of having a project whilst I'm here sounds irresistible. The deep thrum as I play my first chord rings around the room. Looking out of the window, I realise there's a platform on the other side of the glass. So there is a balcony.

Sliding the door to the left, I step out into the icy embrace of the ocean's breeze with the instrument in my hands. I play a few chords, and an old melody as I process the breathtaking scenery before me. The reflection of the moon is painted on the restless waters beneath a glittering dark sky. Directly in front of this building, there's a beach. As I peer into the darkness of the shore I see a lone figure.

It appears to be a boy, with broad shoulders and short hair. Or maybe was a bulky woman. I watch the imperceptible silhouette stand at the ocean's mercy, unflinching as the dark waters surge forward to swallow his feet.

I want to take a picture. To capture the bitter isolation in his stance. The merciless ice blue of the waves. The glittering, curious eyes in the black sky.

And after I hurriedly retrieve the Polaroid camera from my suitcase, I do.

—-

𝓽𝓱𝓪𝓷𝓴𝓼 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝕙𝕖𝕣 𝕘𝕝𝕒𝕤𝕤 𝕔𝕒𝕤𝕥𝕝𝕖 ❤︎
𝚍𝚘𝚗'𝚝 𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚟𝚘𝚝𝚎, 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚜𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚎  ☻︎

xoxo
Aviana