Black or White

CHILDHOOD...

Growing up I considered myself to be normal with a little bit of crazy. I had a generally normal childhood, aside from the trauma that was brought upon my family when I was a baby, but I'm just glad that I was too young to remember.

When you are younger, you are innocent. You don't think of the world as a complex place where no matter what decision you make, you're not going to make everyone happy. For 11 to 12 years I spent my life running through rainbows and dancing with puppies. I had my own little bubble that I lived in, and I was very content with it. Sometimes, I wish I could go back to those years so that I wouldn't have to deal with pain of carrying this enormous boulder on my back that no one can see, and to me, if they could see it some of them would think it was no big deal. I don't think anyone could understand how hectic carrying this boulder on my back really is, but I didn't start carrying this boulder until the 6th grade, but even though I was carrying it in the 6th grade, I didn't know I was until the 7th.

6th grade changed my entire life, whether for the good or for the bad is what I didn't know at the time, and still somewhat don't know. That was the year that my bubble was popped, my puppies vanished, and my rainbows turned into just rain. It wasn't that it was a sad time, no not at all, it was just a very confusing time, at least for me. 6th grade was the year that hormones started to change, and teenage years were approaching, so that meant, 6th grade was the year I was going to start to like other people. Now, I know that there is at least one-person reading this that's going to say to themselves, "OMG, this is just another story where a girl has a crush and their crush doesn't like them, so they try to get noticed by them.". Well you couldn't be farther from the truth; this story is nothing like that.