Chpt 24~hyperventilating

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Eddie was sat at the back of the class, his history class. He only had Ben in his history and they were sat next to each other, although they didn't talk much this lesson. Eddie just couldn't take his mind off of everything that happened last night, starting from when Richie arrived at his house..

[last night]

Stan and Eddie were sat on Stan's bed for about 20 minutes swapping spit, Eddie was sat uncomfortably on his lap.

Eddie didn't feel anything when he was kissing Stan, but he did with Richie. It made Eddie fucking think hard about that but he couldn't understand why. His kiss with Richie made his heart flutter, but not with Stan??

Another thing that Eddie couldn't stop thinking about was the fact that he got a b*ner when Richie just touched him a little, not even sexually. Just messing around. But he didn't get one when he was being sexually touched by Stan.

But anyways, after their kiss.. They didn't say much. Stan just smiled and spoke calmly "we should get to bed now."

Eddie forced a smile and nodded, they both then went to sleep in silence. Eddie did notice that Stan was trying to get a little closer to him in bed though, but he moved away. Stan did stop nudging closer after that, but Eddie could tell that Stan still wanted to. But Eddie didn't want to..

That morning, they went to school in almost complete silence. Although Stan did try starting a conversation with him but he didn't want to talk.

Eddie just wanted to be alone with his thoughts.

[present time]

Now, he was sat in history. 4th period. In silence. Until Ben finally decided to break the silence and speak to the boy who was stuck in his thoughts.

"Eddie?"

Eddie quickly washed his thoughts away and turned to face Ben, who was smiling softly at him. Eddie smiled back, although it was a forced smile. He didn't really want to smile but for Ben, it was acceptable. "Yeah ben," he replied.

"I've been wanting to tell you some good news, but you didn't seem in the mood.. I didn't-"

"You can tell me," Eddie quickly interrupted. He hated it when he couldn't speak about something that happened to him because other people weren't in the mood, but Eddie loved Ben. He was always there to chat when Eddie needed him, so obviously he would return the favour.

"Okay well, me and Bev kissed. It was nice," Ben quickly rushed out, a slight tint of pink covering his chubby cheeks. "I know this might not be a good time, i just really wanted to tell someone."

Eddie let out a smile, not a fake or forced one this time. "I'm so happy for you Ben, are you two like dating now or?"

"She needs to have a think about it, which is understandable. I'll give her however long she wants," Ben spoke with a happy smile.

"That's understandable," Eddie replied. "So, how was the kiss," he asked with a smirk, this made Ben quickly look away and blush even more.

"We properly made out," squealed Ben. "It lasted a while, it was amazing. It felt as if all of my problems were gone in that one moment in time, as if i had nothing to worry about. Oh and it felt right, as if it was a thing that i've been needed this whole time."

Eddie smiled and patted his hand on Ben's shoulder gently, to congratulate him. "You deserve your happiness Ben, i'll be here for you whenever," he comforted.

And then, it hit him. Nothing physicallll, but the truth hit him.

"I felt that way when i kissed Richie, I felt like it was something that was meant to happen. It felt right for me, but maybe not for Richie. Seen as he has a fucking rapist boyfriend, oops.

Maybe it's because he has soft lips? Actually no, Stan has soft lips as well.

Maybe because I have always been closer with Richie?"

Eddie thoughts wouldn't go away, he was ignoring Ben who kept repeating "Eddie?" and "are you okay?"

"What if it's because i feel attracted to Richie??" Eddie then thought.

Fuck.

Eddie quickly gazed up to look at Ben and looked around him, the students attention's were all to the teacher.

His breathing was out of control, he was hyperventilating.

Eddie quickly stood up out of his chair and grabbed his bag, as well as his pencil case on his desk. Everyone's eyes darted to the small boy as he made his way through the classroom and left the room.

He was rushing to the boys bathroom, he couldn't believe it.

He was hyperventilating because of the thought about feeling attracted to Trashmouth!

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