Billie and Brandon: Unpredictable Circumstances

13

It was her baby album.

Her fucking baby album.

"No..."

Billie inhaled unsteadily and spun around immediately, trying hard not to think about the implication of her baby pictures resting on her clearly used bed. She walked right out of her room and down the hall to the living room.

As she came out in the living room, her eyes immediately went to her mother, still sitting stiffly on the couch, her back to Billie. She then noticed that under Maggie was a blanket and a pillow. Like someone had been sleeping on that couch. Maybe her father? Why would he be sleeping on the couch. Had this whole pregnancy thing put a strain on their relationship? Her parents had always had such a strong relationship how could it be crumbly so easily.

"Where's dad?"

Maggie kept her eyes on the TV, twiddling her thumbs. "He said he had to see someone."

"Today? On Christmas? Without you? Well is he coming back?" Billie asked worryingly.

"I don't know." Maggie's voice was so quiet, Billie could barely hear it.

Something tugged in Billie's chest, and she swallowed thickly, knowing her anger at her mother had pretty much disappeared. Three weeks of anger. Evaporated so unbelievably fast. Billie wondered if she was ever actually angry with Maggie's rejection to begin with. Because looking at her, the only thing Billie could think about was how much she wished she could have been sitting on that couch with her.

"I'm gonna go now."

Maggie didn't respond.

Billie's words evaporated into thin air as if they had never existed.

Billie put her hand on the doorknob, almost leaving, but her hand stilled.

"You know... You're welcome to come to Drew's to celebrate with us."

Billie looked over her shoulder and she saw her mother was watching her from the side, something like regret passing through her eyes once again.

"I..." Maggie started, turning back around to face the TV with a frown. She shook her head slowly. "I think you better go."

And Billie's throat tightened dangerously. She knew her eyes were watering.

But not because she was sad for herself.

There was something absolutely heart wrenching about seeing her mother sitting by herself on Christmas day by herself waiting for her husband to come home. They always spent Christmas as a family. Well, at least until Billie had to fuck up everything and get pregnant. What had happened to them? They used to be so close and now, it was like there was a whole mountain between them, and it hurt. It honestly, truly hurt Billie to see that the the whole families relationship had been torn to pieces to the point where they couldn't even be in the same room.

Billie spun around, walking around the couch to where her mother was sitting.

"Mom. I can stay with you today you know?" Billie said earnestly, almost begging, "I can stay with you just for today. We always stick together for Christmas."

Maggie closed her eyes momentarily, her head turned slightly away from Billie, fists bunching the material of her dress. After letting out a deep breath, she stood up firmly, her expression displeased and closed off. Seeing her up close again, Billie wondered if her mother had always been that thin, that tired, and looking worn down. There was no vibrancy in her expression, no happiness in her eyes. How come Billie had never noticed it until now?

"I'd rather you didn't. Go Billie." Maggie said firmly, her fists still tightly clenching her dress.

Maggie was putting on airs. Billie could see it in her demeanor, like she wanted to say yes but she wouldn't. Why didn't she just say yes? Why didn't she just let Billie back into her life? They were supposed to be together forever. They were suppose to be each other's support and reliance, but Maggie wouldn't let Billie in at all, and it was tearing her apart. It was tearing her whole family apart.