Peter Parker: The Gen Z Chronicles

The Coffin Dance

Peter sat in the living room of the tower scrolling through Instagram. He was waiting for Mr Stark to get out of his meeting. Normally he skipped any meetings on Friday's (or any meetings in general really) but Pepper had walked into the lab looking furious. She wasn't mad at him though, but apparently one of the scientists in that meeting had been hearing on her nerves. So here Peter sat, alone, with the company of the entire internet.

About an hour later after liking a pick of a cat sleeping with a dog, he heard the elevator ding. He looked up down the hall to see a very frustrated looking Tony Stark.

"Hi Mr Stark" he said cheerfully.

"Hey kid" was the tired reply.

"How was the meeting" he asked. Clearly it didn't go very well, but he figured that getting Mr Stark to talk about it would help get some of the anger out.

"Honestly, terrible. Patrick Henry, the scientist in charge of the next StarkPhone wanted to completely redesign the phone from scratch. And he seems to have convinced the his team the same. It's not a bad idea, but the way he wants to do it will make the phone almost 3 times the price of the current design. Usually we would fire him but he has the entire team in board" he said his voice rising towards the end.

"That doesn't sound good" Peter said.

"No, it's not"

"I wish I could fire him and take care of his team, but I can't seem to get them to listen" he said tugging at his hair.

"Can't you just straight up say no" Peter asked, "you are the owner, and Pepper is CEO."

"Peppers trying to promote an idea of transparency and having everyone be on one page" he told him.

"Ahhhh"

"It especially doesn't help that his team is younger, like just graduated within the last few years younger" he continued.

"I didn't think you'd have people like that work on the phone" Peter said.

"Normally I wouldn't but this is their trial. Afterwards heads of other departments want to pick them up. We don't normally have an entire team of people like that, but there was a glitch in the system when the assignments were printed and they were all honours students so we figured we'd let it slide this time" he explained.

"Why don't you let me talk to them" Peter said, an idea already forming in his head.

"This is a company issue kid, nothing that I want you to get involved in" Mr Stark said ruffling his hair.

"Come on, I'm on the younger side, I'm sure I can get them to listen" Peter argued fixing his hair.

"Younger you are, still a baby in fact" he smiling.

Mission accomplished Peter thought.

"I'm 15. Give me a chance, come on, just one" Peter said almost pleading.

"Fine" Mr Stark said throwing up his hands.

A few days later, he walked into the meeting room wearing a pair of dark jeans and a button down shirt.

"Hi everyone, I'm Peter Parker Mr Stark's personal intern. I'm here cause I heard about you guys having an issue on the design of the next phone" he said a bit nervously.

A few people nodded.

"Listen kid, I don't know why your here since you obviously haven't even finished middle school, but you should get back home so you can  finish your homework" said what was obviously Patrick.

"Dr Henry, Peter is here as a guest if Tony's, so you will listen to him and give him the same respect you do when we have other Dr's" came the stern voice of Pepper.

"As I was saying, the phone. Looking at Stark Industries and the updated manifesto, it aims to bring technology not only to people who can afford it, but to anyone who's interested. And to anyone who needs it. Along with changes to models and using cheaper but equally efficient, to more efficient materials. And most notably, donations to schools in poorer neighborhoods. So the design being proposed is completely going against all that. The materials alone are double the price of the last model. But the way it's required to be assembled will drive the price up an extra third of the current one. And that's not even taking in to account if you want to make a decent proper. Another issue is that you've changed the demographic. Ever since you've gone in a new direction you've grown the 25 and under by nearly 60%" he explained flipping through the slides.

"Furthermore, of you get people younger you're more likely to get lifelong users, and the younger they are, the longer you get a customer" he continued.

The presentation went on with that. He showed different statistics and studies, many of which were conducted after and before Stark Industries. He showed the direct correlation and growth between them. He made sure to throw in subtle digs at the Dr and plenty of times during it he coughed one of his team members looking at him with a frown on their face. He got more and more confident as he went on and got excited for the twist he had planned at the end.

"To end this off I believe Mr Stark has some last words" he said once he finishes the second to last slide.

"Thank you Peter for the surprisingly in depth presentation. I do have some exciting news too" he said standing up and walking to the head of the table.

"Dr Patrick Henry, most people would say 'I hate to say this' but it actually makes me happy to say this, but, you're fired" he said looking the man right in the eye.

"Friday, play Astronomia"

The familiar upbeat song immediately blared through the speakers. The song was playing through the entire building minus any floors where there might be explosives happening. And security footage would start playing the firing on any available monitors on loop for the next 30 minutes.

Suddenly the 6 youngest scientist hoisted Dr Henry into their shoulders and started dancing to the beat and carrying him out.

Peter stared at them as they left laughing like he had never laughed before.

"Friday-"

"That footage is currently playing live on all monitors" she said before he even told her anything.

Later he found himself explaining the meme to Mr Stark and Pepper since he conveniently left that part of the plan out. He knew Mr Stark was gonna fire him for turning their own employees against him, but he didn't tell him about the coffin dance part. They both thought it was funny but highly inappropriate.

He didn't even think that the scientists would carry him out like that. The best part was that someone had asked Friday for the video and posted it online. It was going viral. It was the cherry on the icecream sundae.

"I only did it cause he upset you guys so much, you're never like that" he said looking down at his socked feet.

Next thing he knew they were on both sides of him giving him a hug.

"He did kinda deserve that" Mr Stark said.

"Yeah, he kinda did" Pepper agreed.

"Just don't do that again on kid" Mr Stark said.

"Only if your employees don't ever make Pepper mad again" he said from where he was hurried in his shoulder.

He swore he heard Pepper make a wooden like she might at a puppy, but he couldn't be sure.

"That's a deal I can stand by" Mr Stark said with a chuckle.

After the hug they ended up watching a movie with some pizza and icecream until Peter fell asleep.