Feelings||A Han Jisung FF

Chapter 1

PAIRING - JISUNG X READER

GENRE: A BIT OF ANGST AND HIDDEN FEELINGS

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You woke up to the sound of your alarm. It was time for school but you didn't want to go, you wanted more sleep. But you force yourself to get up and get ready. You washed your face, brush your teeth, and change your clothes. You thanked God that tomorrow was Saturday, but you realized you had plans with the boys tomorrow. You just sigh and walk out of the house, walking to school.

Jisung was behind you, trying to creep up behind you to scare you. You were walking, and you were too caught up in your emotions that you didn't realize Jisung was creeping you. "BOO!" He screamed at you. You flinched and turned around to see Jisung with a smug face. "God damn it, Ji. I swear to god if I were someone else from this school you would have gotten slapped." You nagged him. You were trying not to let your emotions spill so you just let him go this time.

"Hey, Y/N..? Are you mad at me?" You heard him with a soft and sad voice and you started to panic. "I, uh, no, I didn't mean to, I just-" you stopped mid-sentence to calm yourself and not stutter. "No, look Ji. I just have a lot of stuff on my mind right now so I might get mad easily." You said to him. He only nodded and you both started to walk to school

You both walk to school in awkward silence, you were still upset about 2 things and it feels like you're going to lose your motivation soon. You reach the gate and go your separate ways. You had History and it was one of your favorite lessons, and the teacher was nice so you thought it might make up your mood. But it did not, the teacher was called in sick and had to be replaced by a strict teacher. Which made your mood even worse, once the bell rang it was time for lunch. You looked around to see if Jisung was sitting anywhere and you saw him talking to his crush, Minji. You left the cafeteria and went to the roof, you were hungry but you didn't mind about it.

After 5 or so minutes of you dozing off, you went down to the first floor and saw Jisung running to you. "Y/N!!" He shouted. He was happy about something and he was really excited about it. "What? What happened?!" You were curious about what he was going to tell you and you had high hopes. "I..I confessed to Minji and she accepted!" He was the happiest person alive and I was glad for him. But really deep inside it hurts but you try not to show it. "Really! That's great! I told you you could do it." You nudged him.

You were talking about random things until recess was over and you went back to your classes. Sooner or later the school was over and you were going to talk to Jisung and walk together home, but you saw him walking with Minji. They were going on a date so you decided not to bother them. You waited for him to be out of your sight before you walk home. You only walked home by yourself when Jisung was out of town or sick, you guys always walk home together. A few minutes of walking and you reached your home and opened the door, "I'm home.." You said, you took off your shoes and went inside your house.

You realized that no one was home, and your parents are probably doing their work. You went into your room and took a hot shower. After you were done, you felt calm and started to get dressed and dry your hair. After a few minutes of drying your hair, you lied down on your bed and stared at the ceiling. You were alone at home, you never liked being alone at home because you always thought your parents would leave you at home. You always waited until one of them got home and went to sleep. Because of this, you never get any good sleep cause they always come home around midnight.

You heard the front door open and checked the time, it was only 8 PM, and you were suspicious until you heard a voice. "Hello, anyone home?". You heard that voice only 3 times a year. You quickly open the door to see your big brother with a brown bag and black luggage. "Oh? Y/N you're at home? I thought you would still be at the local book store" He said. "SEUNGMINN I MISSED YOU!!" You ran down the stairs and lunged at him. Your brother let go of whatever he was holding and hugged you back. "Hello to you too haha." He giggles. You stopped hugging and helped him put his stuff in his room. "Hows America? Got a girlfriend yet?" You nudged your elbow at him. His expression changed from happy to annoyed and too mischievous. "How 'bout you Lil sis? Got found someone you liked." He shot back. You immediately looked away and stayed silent, which made him laugh.

After leaving your brother's room to do some work you went back to your room and flopped on the bed. You took out your phone and scrolled through Instagram and liked some pictures. And to your horror, you saw Him with a girl. The caption read, *"I can't believe I could date someone as beautiful as her, thank you to @(Instagram username) helping me get my confidence up!"* Your heart got heavier and your emotions jumped out of your body. You didn't know what to do anymore, Jisung already has someone he loves.

And it's not you

The voice is ringing in your head. This voice has been stuck with you since 7th grade and it never went away, it never does. It mentions all your insecurities and mistakes that you did a long time ago or just now, it never stops and you're starting to get sick of it. You felt frustrated from today and you realized the History teacher gave you a ton of homework, and it had to be submitted on Monday, today was Thursday and you have 3 days to work on a 5 paged homework.

You felt your energy being drained away as soon as your negative emotions came up. You didn't want to do anything and lay down and rest or watch some shows. So much for aiming for star student huh. Your stress was growing and you don't know how to fix it. You reach for your phone and open the contacts searching for Jisung's name until you froze for a moment. This was a habit of yours, you and Jisung open up to each other a lot and it became something of a routine when one of you became sad or stressed. 

You can't go to him anymore, he left you.