I Get A Kick Out of You

Chapter 37

Cassie threw her head down and sighed as she held her phone away from her face. She had called Joel last week to tell him about how she lost the baby. He didn't get the message until today because, apparently, he's been on a "company retreat" in Boston.

She's not entirely sure if she believes that.

Either way, he was calling—not to check up on her—but to yell about how she not only left one message about it, but to express his anger that she gave him the news via voicemail. According to him, if she had tried to reach him a few more times, he might have answered. She's never sensed so much bullshit in her life.

"You know what, Joel, it's been one hell of a week and I sure as shit do not need this from you right now," she told him. "After what you put me through, you're lucky I even told you about the baby, or even that it died. Now, call Ethan tonight, he says he has something to ask you—and don't you dare bring up the baby."

With that, she hung up. She did not need this today, or any day for that matter. It's been a week since the miscarriage, but it only feels like yesterday.

Ben has been an absolute rockstar in all of this. They've had a few talks about it and they both have never felt more love for one another. They freaked themselves out because they've heard of couples falling apart after going through something like this. They're determined to not let that happen.

He was at work after taking a few days off to give himself some grieving time. He also wanted to be there for the boys in case they had any questions and, of course, for Cassie. He told her he was going to get to the house early tonight and bring his work home just because he didn't want to leave her alone for too long.

She knew he wasn't being possessive or didn't trust her. She knew it was because her depression has been especially bad, even with her newer, stronger medication, and he was simply worried. Usually, she'd insist that she was fine and tell him to stay the full workday, but she couldn't find herself to do that. It was one of those times where she just needed him.

To occupy herself until then, she decided to do some shopping. Summer was coming in fast, so she got Ethan some new summer clothes. He doesn't like to admit it, but he loves it when she picks out his clothes. He always looks like the cool kid in John Hugh movies.

A while ago, she promised Cillian that she would call her marine biologist friend and get him tour on the marina. Well, since the peak season it about to start (and when she called, there wasn't anything really going on in that season), she got a call back and they set a date to bring the boys down in a couple of weeks.

She got both of the boys wetsuits, since they'll be in the water most of the time there.

When she got home, she put the shopping bags on her bed next to a sleeping Maverick, then went to go get Ethan. He was a bit quieter than usual on the ride home.

"I, uh, talked to your dad today," she told him. "He's going to give you a call tonight. Are you sure you don't want to ask me what you're going to ask him? You know you can ask me anything." He turned to her and said, "I just want to hear what he says first. I'll tell you what it is afterwards."

She nodded and respected his choice.

When they got home, she made him a snack and sent him off to do his homework. By the time Ben came over, he was still in his room.

"Where's Ethan?" He asked as he set down his briefcase and a pile of files down onto the kitchen table. "Homework," she said as she went over to him. He pulled her in by her hips and gave her a kiss. "Hi," he said. "How've you been today?"

She nodded and said, "Pretty good. Better than the past few days. I set up a day for the kids and us to go down to the marina, if you don't have any work to do." He carted his fingers through her hair and smiled. "I'll be there," he told her. "I'll call MaryAnne and tell her to clear my schedule."

He was given an odd look and he quickly noticed. "She's my new assistant," he explained. "I hired her today. I've got a lot of cases coming up this Summer and I don't want to neglect you or the kids, so I hired her to keep things in order. If you're not comfortable with me having a woman assistant, I completely understand and I'll get rid of her tomorrow."

God, she loves this man.

"No, I don't want that," she told him. "You're not Joel and I know that. I trust you, Ben, and I always will. Maybe I'll get to meet her one of these days." He had to smile at how positive she was being and how she trusted him this much. If Eleanore had a secretary and cheated on him with them, he would be very uncomfortable with Cassie having a male secretary.

He doesn't think that now, though. How could he? He trusts her more than anyone on this Earth. She would never hurt him the way Eleanore has.

"I love you," he told her. "I mean I really love you." She put her hands around his neck and smiled. "I really love you, too. Now, what do you want for dinner? Should I make something or do we order in?"

He hummed for a moment, then told her, "Order in. You've been doing enough around here and I would offer to cook, but I've got loads of work to catch up on. Mind if I set up in the living room?" She offered him her office, but he insisted he use the couch because he knew she wasn't done with her writing. It was true, but she wanted him to be comfortable.

When she went up to Ethan with a take-out menu from their favorite sushi restaurant, he was on the phone with Joel. She dropped the menu on his desk and made her way out as quickly as possible. She wanted him to trust her and sticking around to listen to their conversation would not be a good start.

Ben wrote down what he wanted and gave her his card to pay. He refused to let her pay for dinner, even went as far as to take her wallet away so she wouldn't be sneaky about it. She swore that she'd do the same to him next time and he responded with playfully smacking her butt.

By the time dinner came, Ethan was downstairs with Maverick in tow and hungry. "So," Cassie said as they gathered around to dish out their sushi, "how was talking to your dad?" Ethan shrugged and told her, "Fine, I guess. He asked about you a lot."

Cassie gave him a side glance. "What did he ask?" Ethan sat down with his plate full of sushi, then said, "Mostly about how you were doing since the baby died. He also asked me how much I knew about it. I told him I knew everything, but he said I didn't. What does he mean?"

Ben and Cassie looked to each other. "Nothing," Cassie said. "Your dad just...well, he didn't like that I was going to have a baby with Ben. That's all. Did he answer the question you had for him?" Thankfully, that seemed to get him off the subject of the baby, but it also turned him sad.

"He told me no," he sadly sighed. As Ben grabbed some soy sauce from the table, he asked, "Well, what was your question?" Ethan simply shook his head and continued eating. Cassie could see Ben about to start pushing, so she put her hand over his and shook her head.

He put his sushi in his mouth and shut up. This wasn't his place and he knew better. It's just his parental instinct to find out what question your child wants to ask. However, he didn't want to push any boundaries.

After Cassie had changed the subject onto school, the conversations flew easy. Ethan wanted to know about Ben's case and what kind of "super bad guys" he gets to put away. Well, Ben is still new at the firm and didn't have any big cases yet. He was mostly putting away people who stole a car or were pirating DVDs. No big perps yet.

That didn't stop him from indulging Ethan with some made up crime story that he could tell his friends.

Ethan expressed how tired he was today, so once he was finished with dinner, he went to bed. Cassie told Maverick to go with him and the young dog obliged. He was the only one keeping Ethan at bay with everything going on. She remembered her dog being the same when she was a little girl and it's exactly why she got Maverick for him. 

Dogs provide a certain comfort no human ever could come close to. 

"Joel better not have said anything to him," Cassie grumbled as she put leftovers away. "I think if it was Joel," Ben told her, "he would have said something. Then again, he might want to only talk to you about it."

She figured that the case from the way he was acting earlier. He was always very open with her, but not in front of other people like that. He doesn't think they'll understand like she does. "He'll tell me eventually," she told him. "He needs time and that's okay. But I swear, if it's about Joel, you're going to have to defend me for murder."