One Question

It had been ten years since I spoke to Joshua Richter, and I never expected to hear from him again. Not after the threats, the fights, or the fallout. So, when my phone buzzed on the evening of my 30th birthday, his text message was the last one I expected.

Happy birthday, Chibi.

It was a nickname he called me when we were together but not together. A pet name only for me to make me feel special and important. But as time went on and I realized it was just another way he tried to control me and my feelings for him, the more resentful I became and the easier it was when I finally walked away.

But that was ten years ago, right? We both had moved on from our childish angsty feud. We chose to live our own lives and become our own people. I no longer needed Joshua Richter to make me feel special or important. I was better than that girl he knew, so desperate for his love and attention. I didn't need him anymore. And I was going to prove it to him.

Hey, thanks, stranger! How's it going?

He didn't need to know that my boyfriend was downstairs watching television on the couch. Just as I didn't need to ask about his wife or the daughter he had her with. Just simple, casual conversation...

Just thinking about you. Wondering how you were doing. It's been too long since we talked.

Or not.

I gripped my phone harder in my hand as I stared up at the bedroom ceiling. I could end this now. Should end this now. Josh was the best and worst thing that ever happened to me. I left him behind ten years ago and there was no reason to bring him back.

But I was also masochistic and painfully curious. Perhaps even spitefully so.

I'm fine. Just lying in bed. Had a long day.

It wasn't a lie. We had spent a better part of the afternoon and into the evening out and about, celebrating the beginning of my new decade. A walk through the park with our dog, a nice dinner at my favorite restaurant— it was quiet and I was okay with that.

So how many shots did you take before you threw them up?

Some things never changed.

I'm kidding. I'm glad you enjoyed your day. What have you been up to lately?

A part of me felt like Josh already knew. But then that would have meant he took time out of his regularly scheduled life to actually seek me out, not unlike how I had searched for him after our mutual friend updated me on his current social situations.

Josh never cared about anyone other than himself, or if he did, it was only because it would have benefitted him in some way or another. It was why he refused to date me yet had no qualms about allowing me into his bed. I had the apartment, I had the car, and I had the stable job. He could have anything he wanted and get it, and I enabled it for the five years we were within each others' company.

Which was why I was nothing short of surprised when the mutual asked me if I had heard about Josh's news. Either they forgot we had fallen out of touch, or they felt the gossip was too good to keep to themselves.

A few social media searches later, it was clearly the latter.

I should have been ashamed that the curiosity got the better of me, but when I came to find out he got his then-girlfriend pregnant and married her soon after, it occurred to me Mr. I'm-Never-Getting-Married may have taken a different path in life than I would have expected was laid out for him.

My attention returned to the bright screen illuminating my bedroom. He was married, I was happily taken. There was no harm in casual conversation to catch-up after years of silence.