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ii ◦〉"feel something" pt.1 〉𝖌𝖏𝖆

SYNOPSIS: Gia has an unhealthy way of coping after the events at the carnival and her sister's overdose. She doesn't want to reveal it, but terrible day at school connects the pieces for her friends.

*JENNA ORTEGA as SIENNA*
*JADAH MARIE as NYKIE*

WARNING: eating disorders, slight cursing

A/N: I tried so hard to exclude any mention of numbers in regards to weight/calories in this because EDs are 99% maladaptive thoughts, 1% the reason(s) someone develops one and obsession over numbers is just one smaller symptom but significant issue of a larger problem & to make the story less triggering. On a less serious note I had to watch scenes of Troy and Roy tens times bc I couldn't tell them twins apart lmao. Take care. 🖤

༶•┈┈⛧┈♛ ♛┈⛧┈┈•༶

When Gia was younger, the transition was slow, but it was there. Never had Rue or her mother made it seem like she took up too much space by just existing, nor had they ever used skinny or fat as an insult. No digs at her looks. But somehow, the idea that the way she looked didn't matter never seemed to click with her.

It was silly. Only self centered people worried about their weight.

She didn't know why, but somewhere along the line, every single after thought led with a number of pounds or amount of food right after.

At the night of the carnival, there was no point in feeling guilty about Troy joking about her sister's overdose when her first instinct was to stop eating. At least so she could focus on something besides hanging with the boy she liked who treated her sister like shit made her feel.

"When did you become such a bitch? Was it after you fuckin' OD'd?"

She felt like a little asshole for not leaving sooner before he took his jokes far. If she had left him earlier, he wouldn't have made Rue feel like shit, Gia feel like shit for making Rue feel like shit, and Gia starving to hopefully make up for-and well, she got the point: feeling like shit.

The night she and Rue walked home from the carnival, her sister's relapse and his words had spun in her head on loop.

How when Rue came home from rehab at the end of last summer, Gia got used to her mom spending most of her time with Rue. Most the day was spent checking up on her, while Gia peered from behind her bedroom door. Gia hadn't known a feeling bittersweet relief about Rue surviving and getting sober-just that she could distract herself while trying to forget about it, and how her life had changed when Rue and her mom did. That's when her need to be hungry started.

Of course it hurt to be forgotten about, but on another note, that left much more time for Gia to do as she pleased. With her mother often distracted, and Rue out about with friends in her own drama, that left little time for either of them to focus on her. Even if Gia wasn't getting as much attention anymore, that meant she could get away with other things. Even if they were dangerous.

Gia promised herself that she'd stop. Like the way her her friends would complain about in movies-the girls preoccupied with their weight and dieting and their hidden or not-so-hidden eating disorders-she would never be like them. A Regina George or Heather Duke.

But for every bad grade, scary event involving Rue's overdoses, and the times she felt lesser when her crush and friend Troy mentioned liking anyone else, food-or a lack of it was the first thing she turned to. It was addictive, hurting herself to have some control in her life.