Rose Petals

1

I sat down thinking , as I thought about the man I loved with all my heart—the man who I could call mine, because that's us, that's who we were, he was mine, well, he was supposed to be, and all I do is to watch him as he falls in love with some one else.

I'm selfish, I know I am because I'm with someone who is in love with someone else, I'm selfish because I'm preventing their love story I'm holding unto someone that isn't holding on to me anymore. I'm in the relationship with myself, that's it, obviously Jackson Scott III won't cheat on me physically, but an emotional affair is worse.

I should hate him, resent him even for doing this to me after all the promises we made after what we've been through for ripping my heart from my chest for leaving me, knowing he's all I've ever known ... all I've ever wanted to know and it hurts that I wasn't enough, I wasn't his one, meanwhile he was my everything. I had to go, Jack took my love and maybe at a point I got his or maybe my love was enough for both of us for awhile until he decided to fall in love in the complete opposite direction.

I mean I've always been there, you would think he'd love me too or atleast enough to not go and fall in love with some other woman but my pride and my dignity which would never allow me to be at a position where I'm second place, but I always end up here at the receiving end of someone's 'incase of incasities' and with that thought I wept like a baby I cried and cried and cried for the loss of a relationship I had cherished so much that I loved... Still love with every fibre of my being.

' Reina!, I've been looking for you everywhere what the hell are you doing here!' that's when she turned to look at me and saw my bloodshot eyes ' Have you been crying?' and I smiled. ' You haven't lost him yet, Reina, he's still yours you can get over this, that girl could just be a distraction ' what she said was true, rationally speaking I could just take it as a man being a man and ignore it but my heart, my instinct told me it's more than that, that woman is more than a distraction she's him and he's her.

' I can't do that Anna, and you know it' As I stared at her we both knew this situation is hopeless, a lost cause, she more than anyone should know these things don't work out that way. ' look, I know it doesn't matter to you, but it does to me, I can't do that, I can't be with him.' ' He's not mine anymore.' and with that another set of tears came.