my (cringe????) hq one shots ♡

hold you again . miya atsumu

"fuck!" he hissed, covering his face with his palms and leaning forward to hunch over, "fuck! what am i supposed to do?!"

he's never sobbed like this and if he did, he imagined you to be there for him. you to stroke his hair, rub his back, whisper sweet nothings and tell him everything was going to be okay. without you by his side, he couldn't imagine how he was ever going to get himself together. who else was he supposed to call out to? sometimes even his twin brother couldn't be there all the time the same way you tried your hardest.

it wasn't the same, it will never be, but he was all he could reach out to.

his shaky hands hurriedly grabbed his phone out of his pocket and dialed his twin brother's number, one of the few numbers he took the time to remember. the ringing replayed three times, his chest getting tighter after each one, before he heared his brother pick up. the calm greeting brought atsumu some sort of comfort.

"whats up tsumu?"

"i made her cry," was the first thing that came out of his mouth, skipping the plesantries as he had no intention to butter up his brother for a conversation he desperately needed, "i got mad and i came home pissed and she was having a bad day and we started aruging and i couldn't control it i was just so mad iㅡ i yelled at her dammit! fuck!"

"and you're yelling at me," osamu's smooth voice mumbled from the other side of the line, "breathe for me, would ya? everythin' is gonna be alright."

"but iㅡ"

"but i nothing," osamu interrupted, clicking his tongue. he took note of the way atsumu's breath hitched and let out a small sigh as now even he began feeling a little overwhelmed. it wasn't often atsumu came to him like this and he knew he had to comfort him but also straighten him up for you. "you can't play victim here tsumu," osamu continued softly, "don't you think y/n knows you aren't perfect? that of course one day you might yell at her? you're an irritable guy and if she thought she couldn't handle it, she wouldn't have given her heart to you."

atsumu closed his eyes and exhaled deeply like his brother had instructed him to, picturing a koi fish swimming in a figure 8 like you had once told him you did. he remained quiet, letting the words he neeed to hear sink into his mind to reassure his worth and his efforts, that he wasn't going to be someone you couldn’t trust anymore because he let his voice slip.

"obviously it's something to work on and now you realize that, don't you?" osamu continued on, voice still soft, "she's probably known that one day it would happen but probably didn't expect it today despite potentially preparing for it... did she run away from you?"

atsumu mustered out a weak hum.

"give her some time, say maybe 7 minutes, and head over to wherever she is. she's a big girl, she knows how to calm herself down, and once she reaches some sort of calm, you know you can hold her again."

atsumu knew osamu was correct but at the same time it didn't feel right for you to be able to calm yourself down on your own at a time like this. he wanted to be the one to hold you, help you breathe, ease your shaking. he wanted to tell you he loves you, that he will always be there and that you are a love that he will cherish forever. but he knew that space right now was what you needed.

"okay," atsumu sighed out, collecting himself and sitting down with his legs crossed, "you're right, sorry about that..."

osamu hummed and shook his head though atsumu wouldn't be able to see it. "it's okay. i'm always here tsumu. do you want me to stay with you for 7 minutes?"

atsumu hummed. "no... thank you though..." he sniffled and wiped his face with the back of his hand, "i'm gonna go grab her a glass of water and... and something to eat or something."

"alright. don't worry too much, you both will be okay."

the called ended and atsumu took a minute to sit by himself in an empty silence. he let his mind wander, thoughts about you spinning through his head with the hope that you and him were going to be okay. osamu was right about you knowing he was irritable but there was no excuse to yell at you.

"i'm an idiot," he told himself before pushing himself to get up and grab the glass of water he said he would. he took his time, eyes watching the time to make sure he really gave you the space you needed. there was no hesitation, however, for him to make his way upstairs where he knew you'd be.

all the doors were open, nothing closed for you to hide behind. he knew this was a call for help, that you weren't going to shut him out, and that he was still someone you could lean on. his chest tightened and he wanted to cry again but held back, knowing that it was you who needed his shoulder to cry on.

"baby?" he called out softly.

he heard you sniffle and walked right into the bedroom you two shared, seeing you seated on the floor with your head against the mattress.

"can i come in?"

you nodded through your shaking.

"i got you so waterㅡ" atsumu swallowed thickly, his words clogging in his throat. he set the glass and plate down on the nearby nightstand. "and...and i made you some toast in case you needed..." he took in a breath and blinked away the tears in his eyes, "something to eat..."

you nodded once again, burying your face against the mattress, still unable to face him just yet. and because of this, he sat himself down beside you with a distance. when you were ready, he told himself, you'll come into his arms.

"i'm so sorry y/n i should have had more control and i shouldn't have lost my temper on you." his brows knitted upwards and he bit his lip, tears once again blurring his vision, "baby i didn't mean to yell at you. i was mad and i promise i'll deal with it differently. i would neverㅡ iㅡ" he sniffled and wiped his tears away, easing his breathing so he could get his message across. "you're my world, y/n and i want to keep us going."

he knew you were listening and that was enough for him to bring his apology to a pause. he waited for you and you did your best to relax for him, the both of you seated in a heartbreaking silence that echoed your shaky breaths and soft whimpers.

it felt like an eternity before you were able to lift your head and face atsumu.

"can i hold you again?" he asked as soon as your eyes met his.

you nodded weakly and this was enough for him to reach out to you and place his fingertips against your skin, touch gentle but cold. he touched you like it was the first time, treating you so gently that it would seem like you were a porcelain doll. he brought you into his embrace, settling you on his lap, and holding you secure against his body. yours moulded perfectly into him, a feeling he found to cherish much more in this moment, and his arms pulled you just a bit closer.

"i'm sorry," he repeated for what seemed like the millionth time, "i'm so sorry."

"me too," you whispered against his neck, "i didn't meanㅡ"

"there's nothing to apologize for," he reassured you quickly, "it's not your fault, it wasn't yours to begin with, and it's mine for getting upset when you were just trying for me. so please don't think it's your fault. i'm sorry for bringing the situation to this, and i promise you i'll do my best to think clearer... so please forgive me..."

you only nodded and held him as tightly as your numb limbs could let you.

he didn't need to hear you say anything in return, he didn't need you to tell him it was okay or that the both of you were okay. the feeling of your hands slipping under his shirt to touch his skin was enough. the softness if your touch, the welcoming of intimate contact, the trust you put in him for holding you in such a vulnerable state. it was enough for him to know things would be moving towards being okay.

much like you did, he slipped his fingers underneath your shirt. you paid no mind to his cold hands against the small of your back, instead hoping that you could be the one to warm them for him. he pressed his hands against your skin, taking in your warmth and rubbing small circles with his thumbs.

"i love you," he told you against your head, lips pressing against your hair, "so much."

you hummed. "i love you too."