Wrong Number, Spidey

Stranger Danger

???
Wow, kid, maybe Stark isn't all that bad after all.

Peter
I can't believe I forgot!
What should I call you?

???
Call me whatever you want, Spidey.

Spidey
If your gonna call me Spidey then you name is gonna be Mr Stark.

Mr Stark
Why not Tony?

Spidey
Because I must treat my elders with respect.

Mr Stark
Didn't your parents teach you any manners?

Spidey
You gonna regret saying that.
Jokes on you!
My parents died when I was still a smol bean.

Mr Stark
So quite recently then?
But jeeze, kid, I'm sorry for your loss.

Spidey
It's fine, it was years ago
I got to live with my aunt and uncle tho so yay
Although my uncle did get shot about a year ago...
And my girlfriend got thrown off a clocktower....
And my old best friend's dad was evil.....
And my ex-girlfriend's dad was also evil......
Yeah...you might not wanna get to close to me. :/

Mr Stark
Wow that's a lot for a fifteen year old to go through.
Sorry, kid.

Spidey
It's all good, I've found ways to cope :)
Wait wait wait hold up!
I didn't tell you my age!
How do you know it?!

Mr Stark
Sorry Petey Pie, had to make sure you weren't a threat.

Spidey
>:(

Mr Stark
What the hell is that thing?

Spidey
It's an emoticon!
Have you really never seen an emoticon before, Mr Stark?

Mr Stark
Nope, never.

Spidey
Omg you ARE old!!!
And you're missing out!
Look look look!
  /\__/\
(=^•^=)
(")    (")__/
It's a kitty cat! :3
Do you like it Mr Stark?
Do you do you do you???

Mr Stark
Good job, kid :)

Spidey
I did it, your training is complete, young padawan.
But seriously, did you really stalk me and find out everything about me?

Mr Stark
You tell me, Peter Benjamin Parker, who lives in an apartment in Queens with his incredibly attractive aunt. Nice grades in school by the way, nothing lower than an A-.
I'm impressed.

Spidey
Welp.
I'm scared.
I'll start packing my bags, you can pick me up in ten minutes.

Mr Stark
What? No!
I'm not going to kidnap you!
I'm not a pedophile!

Spidey
That's exactly what a pedophile would say!

Mr Stark
It's also what anybody else would say.

Spidey
True dat.

Mr Stark
Anyway... weren't you bleeding earlier?

Spidey
Oh that...
It's all good.
I was making a sandwich and cut myself with the butter knife.

Mr Stark
How do you...?
You know what,
Not even going to question it.

Spidey
Thanks for not asking
I have no idea what happened
One second I'm buttering ma bread
The next, I'm bleeding beautiful buttery blood.

Mr Stark
Kid,

Spidey
Yup?

Mr Stark
You're weird.

Spidey
Aw ;(
Well I better go sleep so I wake up for school
Bye, Mr Stark!
:D

Mr Stark
Goodnight, Spidey.

Tony put his phone down, smiling. He liked this weird Peter "Spidey" Parker. He was so innocent and pure.
Tony sighed, realising that he wasn't going to get any more work done that night. For once, he decided to go bed before 2am, shocking both Pepper and himself. As he drifted into a peaceful sleep, he couldn't stop thinking about Peter. He never forgot the kid from the disastrous Expo, but he never realised that one day he would be able to text him and hear how thankful he is.