FOREVER, YOURS // Matty Healy.

How the fuck did you find that out on Twitter?

"Fuck sake." Matty groaned. "And what's the verdict?"

"I don't know." I whispered, he snapped his head round and looked at me confused.

"You don't know?" He repeated.

"Yeah that's where it's slightly funny in a way." I looked down at Allen to avoid Matty's stare. "I got 6 of them, half said I'm baby free and the other half suggest I'm having a gremlin."

"So what are you going to do now?" He asked.

"I have to go to the doctor's and they'll do some tests I think." I sighed. "I know this is probably the most stressful thing to have to hear right now, which is why I didn't say anything but I'm just trying to figure it all out at the moment."

"Please don't think that my reaction is a reason to hide things like this or to not tell me." He said softly, I looked up at him and his features softened. "This is just as much my mess as it is yours."

"Yeah but it's a tricky subject for us to talk about so I didn't want to bring it up until I knew for sure." I told him.

"I get that." He said. "Okay, then what's the plan if you are?"

"What do you mean what's the plan?" I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Do you want to keep said hypothetical baby?" He asked hesitantly. I didn't know how to answer the question, yes I wanted to have a child someday but this wasn't the best timing. My response also would be based on what the fuck he wanted since recently he'd been so vocal about not wanting kids anytime soon.

"I don't really know Matty, it wouldn't work well for either of us right now." I said softly, suddenly feeling so small in this conversation. "You said it yourself, a child wouldn't be practical for either of our careers."

"So you wouldn't want to keep it?" He asked for a clearer response, something more definitive.

"It kinda depends on your thoughts too." I looked at him for any sign of an answer but his face was blank.

"I'm kinda terrified at the idea of it all." I think he could tell by the look on my face that it wasn't answer I wanted to hear. "I'm not saying that if it's something you want to do that I'll just walk away or anything. I don't know Alyssa this is a lot." He took another long draw of his fag and put his head in his free hand.

"You're telling me." I let out a bitter laugh. "Look we don't know for sure what's gonna happen, this could all be a worry for nothing so until then we should just try to keep a positive mindset with it."

"Yeah I guess." He mumbled and looked up. "Sorry I'm not good at this shit, I don't want to seem like I'm not there with you in this because I am. I'm just trying to get my head around it all."

"I know." I shot him a smile, he returned it instantly. "We will figure this out."

"I just can't believe George knew about this before me." He said making an annoyed face.

"Trust me, I don't like it anymore than you." I chuckled.

-

"So it went well?" Nessa asked me over the phone.

"As well as I think it could have gone, what is more annoying is that there's a fucking picture of us online buying tests and now everyone is bombarding him with questions." I groaned.

"Yeah that is frustrating, fuck sake." She laughed.

"Well there's nothing we can do about that now, it's done. My secret is out in the open for the whole world to know." I could hear her laugh even harder. "Stop laughing at my misery."