Trying Not To Love You

Part Forty Three

Chapter Forty Three

Martha kept checking the door. It was well after ten, without Sonny she had to keep Paul on, he relied heavily on his family for babysitting, so she always let him go early. But just her and Sam, a teenager, were no match if anything went wrong, and whilst there were people drinking, the capacity for things to go wrong was very evident. But Sonny hadn’t turned up, he was due to be there, and his absence left everything up in the air.

For the tenth time she called him, this time leaving a message, “Carter you’re supposed to be here helping me out, we’re struggling without you. Hope nothing is wrong. Call me?”

And she could do no more.

Fifteen minutes later the door opened and Sonny walked in, he had a haunted look in his eyes, and he’d been drinking, she could tell, also instead of his suit that he usually wore to work he was wearing jeans and a t-shirt. Rushing over to him, concerned for his wellbeing, she had to fight the urge to wrap her arms around him protectively.

                “Carter, you ok? I’ve been phoning you.”

He nodded, not meeting her eyes, “something cropped up.”

It was the first time he’d let her down, everyone had an off day and it looked to her that he was tormented by something.

                “Can I help?”

He turned to her, uncaring that the restaurant was full of revellers, and snapped, “bloody hell Martha, you can’t solve EVERYthing.”

Then he stormed to the bar and poured himself a large vodka, throwing most of it down his throat in one hit. She ignored the pain that his outburst had caused; he wasn’t himself, that much was obvious, and he was never going to be the sort of man who shared his problems, his emotions.

Instead she followed him to the bar, “don’t you think you’ve had enough?”

He shook his head and refilled his glass.

Martha had to deflect things, people were starting to stare at them, “Ok. Well why don’t you go in the office? I’ll call you if I need you?”

He looked at her for a moment, then at the other staff who were hovering. Giving himself a shake he put the glass down and turned to Paul, “sorry mate, my bad, you two head off, I’ll help Martha clean up, sorry I made you stay.”

Sam and Paul both looked at Martha who was trying to judge the situation, then smiled when she nodded, “yeah, we’ll be fine. You guys go.”

If she was surprised at his change of heart he’d not know, she kept her own emotions under control. And she was right, Sonny did behave, he was courteous, helpful, even assisted someone who’d drunk too much out to a waiting taxi. But he didn’t smile, and he didn’t look at her. When the last people left, she turned to see him industriously clearing tables and repositioning the furniture.

                “You ok? You’re quiet.”

He looked up and gave a grimace, “I’ve done as you’ve asked of me, isn’t that enough?”

Stunned she moved to stand in front of him, “I don’t make demands of you Carter, I never have!”

He laughed again, “you think?  I do everything you ask, I move into your Dad’s room, give up my freedom, I even stopped smoking because you hate it...not that you noticed.”

Martha hadn’t realised, but it did make her smile, though that wasn’t the response that was called for.

                “Are you laughing at me?”