Letters to Ethan

16th of december-2014

It's only a few hours after I've written yesterday's post.

I just can't get you out of my head.

You've been on my mind for so long.

You've done this before.

But not for this long.

You were busy.

But now it's both of you.

It's like you never existed,

Like our friendship never existed.

I'm just hoping I'm wrong.

I keep putting on a playlist of songs about people leaving, almost hoping that I'm in some kind of movie where everything works out okay in the end.

But this isn't a movie.

This is life.

It's 9 days till Christmas, and all I want for Christmas right now is my best friends back.

I can't talk to anyone about it.
It hurts to much.

I can't face the other alternative.

That maybe I bored you.

That maybe our friendship isn't real anymore.

I wouldn't be surprised.

You once told me that everyone leaves eventually, that nothing is permanent.

You told me that almost a year ago.

You were right.

I've lived by that quote every day of my life.

You never knew that.

I never told you that.

You opened my eyes to so many dangers in the world that I didn't know about.

But maybe you were just preparing me for when you left.