FOREVER, YOURS // Matty Healy.

For you are not beside but within me.

When Matty told me he wasn't doing okay last night, I realised that maybe he needed an escape that wasn't substance based. As much as he would like to pretend he's not been using drugs and alcohol as a means to cope, I know that he has. It might not work, it could possibly go right over his head but I had to try.

I just wanted him to know he wasn't alone, no matter how lonely the world could feel at times.

I stopped walking when we got to the entrance of the gardens, it was beautiful out due to the end of summer. The leaves weren't quite ready to fall off the trees yet but you could see them begin to brown. The flowers at the gates were beautifully bloomed, welcoming any visitors on their mission to see nature. Matty didn't realise I stopped walked and slammed into my side.

"See this is why I didn't trust you, there was no warning there." He moaned.

"Shut up." I laughed, turning to face him. "Before I take the blindfold off I want to say something to you and you have to let me talk. None of your butting in shit." I told him firmly.

"Okay..." He said hesitantly.

"The reason I've brought you here is because I know you're not doing okay, even before you said it to me. So I decided it was time that I show you somewhere that makes me feel more like myself when things get too much. I came here after the bullshit with Lax." I told him. "After we broke up, both times." I chuckled. "I even came down here when we had that argument about who drank the last bottle of wine months ago." He laughed at that one, probably picturing the ridiculous fight we had that night.

"A classic in my books." He grinned.

"Anyway, this place holds a part of my heart that I can't really describe to you Matty. The only reason I've never told you about it before is because I never felt you needed the solace within it. I always felt like you had your own ways of handling yourself, I still do but what I'm saying is, I want to share this with you now. I want to share a part of me that might somehow help you." I explained to him, a smile crept up on his face. "It might not mean shit to you but I wanted to try, okay?" I said to him. "I'm gonna take off your blindfold now." He nodded slowly.

I reached up behind his head and untied the bandanna that was covering his eyes and pulled it off his face, stuffing it into my jacket pocket. His eyes squinted at the sudden brightness. I watched him slowly open his eyes fully and look behind me. "This is beautiful." He said softly, inspecting the inside of the garden.

"I wasn't sure if it was something you would particularly like but like I said, it was worth a shot." I said to him, he diverted his eyes to look into mine.

"Alyssa you could've taken me to a dump and I would still be grateful because you thought that deeply about how I'm doing. This is amazing though, thank you." His eyes were filled with many emotions, I broke out into a smile.

"Let's go inside then." I told him. He grabbed my hand and I turned to start walking inside when he pulled me back into his arms. He threw his arms around my waist and hugged me tightly, resting his head on my shoulder. I slowly wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him back.

"I love you." He mumbled into my jacket. His voice was muffled but he sounded like he was on the verge of tears.

"I love you too." I said whispered in return.

"Okay enough of me being sappy, I want you to show me this place now." He chuckled and lifted his head. I smiled at him and then kissed him softly.

"I would love to." I said.

-

Matty

Alyssa walked beside me slowly as we strolled through the gardens. It was such a thoughtful thing for her to do, to show me something so close to her heart like this. I would be pissy about the fact she took so long to show me it but the fact she saved it for a time that she truly felt I would gain something from it touched my heart on a deeper level.