The Story Of Sarelle (Twilight)

Chapter 32

A soft knock on the door interrupted the muffled silence. My body felt like it hadn't been truly alive for an extensive amount of time.

I didn't vocally answer the door but I crept off the bed, weak and wobbling like a newborn lamb.

I opened the door carefully and glanced upon Renée's surprised blue eyes.

"Sarelle, honey, you're up." She smiled and bustled into the room, placing a tray of food on the small white bedside table and peeling apart the drapes.

The room flooded with sunlight and I grimaced against the intensity. I had been in the dark for so long, in more ways than one.

"You should eat something, Hun. It's been nearly a week and you've hardly eaten." Renée's voice was soft as she offered me the glass of orange juice.

I took it dumbly, holding it in my hand as I looked down into the vibrant colour. I didn't feel hungry. I didn't feel very much at all. Not even the pain of before, the pain of losing...

I should feel something. It was normal and right to feel something. Was it possible to use up your life's quota of emotion in a matter of a few days?

"Sarelle, are you going to drink that?" Renée's teasing smile didn't reach her eyes. I hadn't realised I had been staring down at the juice for so long.

I brought the juice up to my lips and took a sip. The fruity citrus flavour danced on my tongue.

A faint smile flickered on my lips.

"Thank you, Renée," I said but my voice was cracked and hoarse. What had I been doing for the past few days? I couldn't remember anything from my numb state, just darkness. I placed the orange juice back on the tray; I would make a point to finish the meal later.

"No problem, anything you want, just ask." She gave me a small hug, and although I was rigid and tense at first, I soon relaxed into her arms.

"I want to be with him again." I sniffled into her shoulder. It was the act of a lovesick teenager, which in a way was what I was. But to me it felt like so much more. So much more mature, deep and lasting. I always considered myself older than my years, but it seemed no matter how much more mature I felt in everyday life, heartbreak could still reduce me to the youth I was meant to be.

"Oh, honey." She stroked my hair, running her fingers through to rid it of the knots.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked. Would it help? Could just talking make everything better?

"I think... I just want to distract myself. I can't think about it, it just hurts." I exhaled forcefully to stop the lump from forming in my throat.

I knew this was coming, Edward and I had known our end was chasing us from the very beginning. If I knew it to be inevitable, why did heartbreak still catch me by surprise?

"Distraction I can do. How about you get yourself showered and sorted, and we'll have a good catch up. Phil will be home later so we have a few hours for some girl time." I nodded before following Renée as she buzzed around the top floor, gathering showering items. I registered her mentioning 'Phil' but I didn't press for understanding. That would come later.

"OK, honey, I'll get some towels for you. Have you got clothes?"

"Yes, I have clothes." I glanced towards my bag in the corner of the room. I knew I had more than enough outfits stashed within, but part of me didn't want to open the bag up. It seemed to resemble Pandora's Box in my mind, filled with things I didn't want to let out again – not after finally closing the lid.

I followed Renée out of the room towards a shining lime green and white bathroom. My mind wandered aimlessly and her chattering faded from my ears as I stared into space, not really seeing my surroundings.