That One Pretty Day | A Lizkook AU

12 Minutes & 3 Hours - Pt III

"No, but I don't think it'll lead to some kind of dictatorship - that's harsh -"

"It's just one of the few messages that you're giving out to people who probably don't have the kinds of capacity you had. You probably been through a lot to say that you deserved to have fun every now and then and you'd still be able to control yourself - but to others whose looking at you with their only focus is to materialise everything? You just opened more doors to the type of mindset that rich people can do whatever the hell they want and get away with it - how can you live consciously like that?"

"We can't control what others think about us,"

"Of course we can't but at least at the end of the day we can pat ourselves at the back and think 'hey, I've done my best to protect myself and the people I love'. For instance, my ex - he's on the news here and there - but hardly anyone knows me as his girlfriend except for his close friends and family, and I'm thankful for it. Imagine the disaster this would be for me if we were to parade ourselves in the public too much - I might as well pack my bags and leave the country now!"

Jeongguk couldn't speak. It's like a slap in the face and suddenly he's embarrassed to hear her perspective on it. Worst part is, she wasn't talking specifically to him but about him! It's making him feel like he's one of those unknown serial killer on the loose and no one knew who it is so everyone's sceptical on everyone - wondering 'are you that psycho?' - if you take Lalisa as 'everyone', and he's the 'psycho'.

Suddenly he understands what his mother was saying earlier this morning. Suddenly it made sense...

"Look, I'm not saying that what he did was right," Her voice softens. "And I'm not saying that those people shouldn't be themselves - by all means, have fun as much as they want to. My point is...if they wanna have a private life, maybe the best way to do it is do everything privately instead of proudly getting caught over and over again. But that's just...my 2 cents on it I guess,"

Jeongguk takes a deep breath and leans back to his seat, facing the lake. She's right...deep down he knows she's right. It's just hard to admit that he fucked this up...on purpose. Yes...the reason why he's still unable to learn from constantly getting caught was because...well, he wanted to get caught. 

Subconsciously, that is. He enjoyed getting the attention - especially the women. Yes, it's weird because rather than questioning why he's constantly in these scandals, women are more inclined towards how amazing he could treat them. Even for just one night! The mystery behind his good looks and charms - coupled with what follows at the end of the night - keeps them lining up for him and he enjoyed every flirty process of it. 

But of course now, Lalisa's words are stinging that sense of pride in himself. He has always been an all-rounder - good at everything he touches on. Hence, more and more people started recognising him, not just because he's a Jeon but because he's the Jeon everyone wants to relate to. Boys want to be him and girls...could only dream of having him as an 'oppa'. 

Blogs are talking, digging up every single details about him - what he likes to eat and where, what's his style at work and off work. People are looking up his name on search engines, even though he's not a celebrity! He's featured in a lot of magazines, although deep down he knew he didn't earn enough success by himself to be on one. And now it feels like he's been living in his own made-up bubble, criticising everything and everyone that didn't understand.

It's always their faults...and not his. And now it's taking a toll on his parents...they tried so hard to trust him, and all he cared about was himself.

"Kook?"

"Hmm?"

"Are you okay?"

"Y-yeah, I'm just..."