Todobaku Oneshot Book (Aka My Insanity)

Only So Much

There's only so much Shouo can do when he hears a knock on his door. The clock strikes closely to four in the morning with it.

There's only so much he can do about the familiar feeling of dread that settles in his chest as he opens that door to see the blonde standing there, eyes red with dry tears staining his cheeks. Shouto's heart always breaks at the sight.

"Baby, are you alright?" He asks on instinct like he always does as he tries to mask his panic. No matter how many times this happens, no matter how many nights he stays awake thinking about it, he can never get use just how distressed Katsuki seems. It always makes his heart hurt.

The blonde, being unable to speak, shakes his head while he clenches and unclenches his fists. Shouto places a hand on his shoulder and he can feel Katsuki relax a little at the gesture.

He hates when the blonde gets so quiet. He hates just how much these nightmares affect him. Shouto has had his own share of them and they are by no means pretty. He doesn't wan't Katsuki do have to go through this.

"Ju-just let me come inside, please." Katsuki's voice cracks and his lips tremble over the words. Shouto can tell Katsuki's holding back more tears but he doesn't bring it up, lest he make his boyfriend feel even more upset. If Shouto can rap Katsuki up in a blanket and snuggle with him forever, he will.

He steps aside and lets Katsuki walk past him to sit at the edge of Shouto's bed. There's a beat of silence while Shouto closes his door but as soon as it's locked, he goes to stoop down in-front of his boyfriend and interlocks their hands. He knows just how safe Katsuki feels when he does this even if he won't say it aloud.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asks, and he squeezes Katsuki's shaking fingers. It's cold with sweat.

Katsuki's breath hitches and he shakes his head again. Shouto rubs circles on the back of his palms to assure him.

"That's okay. You don't have to talk about it, honey." Shouto says, like he always does when he sees Katsuki get too worked up. It hurts to see him in so much pain.

He feels Katsuki tug on his sleeve and for a moment, it confuses Shouto. This makes the blonde sigh.

"'Why are you- can you... come up here, Sho?" His voice is so quiet and hopeful and so, so broken. It shouldn't be. This shouldn't be happening to his Katsuki.

Shouto nods his head and with that, he let's go of Katsuki's hands and moves up to the bed. Katsuki shifts closer to him and Shouto lets him do as he pleases.
Their shoulders are touching now and he can feel the blonde let out a shaky breath and lean into him even more, going almost limp at his side. Shouto raps an arm around him and passes his other hand through his hair, his hands lead Katsuki's head to his shoulder. Katsuki sniffles, choking on a sob as he clings to Shouto's night shirt like he'd disappear at any given moment.

"Katsu, it's alright now. Your safe." Shouto says and Katsuki whimpers. He can feel how wet his shirt is gets but he doesn't comment. What he does is hold the boy tighter in his arms and he cries out his frustration.

"Sho, c-can I stay the night?" Katsuki asks through sharp intakes. His breath warm on Shouto's neck. The dual haired teen places a chaste kiss on his cheek.

"Of course baby. Always." He says as he lets a bitter smile reach his lips.

There's only so much he can do. But, with what he has right now, he'll do his best.