Same Mistakes

11. Our Stories

But then the excitement turned into jealously. Danielle has two children. But they're not just Danielle's children. They're also Liam's children. Liam's never went that far with me. I don't know if he thinks of me as a child or what. But I'm not. When Liam and I met, he was 20 and I was 17.

Now I'm 20 and he's 23. I'm most definitely not a child. Maybe sometimes I get a childish attitude, but I'm a legal adult. Liam should treat me like one.

I think he's going to break up with me. We've barely been hanging out lately. I've been super busy trying to learn to dance. He's been busy with X-Factor stuff. Also, Liam wants a family. How can Liam and I create a family if he refuses to go all the way with me? I want a family too, but I guess that won't happen with Liam by my side. I guess we're still young, but all his bandmates have children, not including Harry.

But I know Harry and Sam are trying for children. They've wants kids since before they were even married. Now they want little ones more than ever. They'd make great parents.

Liam not giving me the attention I crave isn't the only thing stressing me out.

Now my management is telling me that they're cancelling my contract after I'm done dancing on X-Factor, because apparently I've been very disrespectful with my very kind and loving staff, and I keep injuring my background dancers. It sucks because I'm actually a very talented singer & songwriter. But I guess that doesn't matter. If you're not the whole package, (singer, dancer, songwriter, and beautiful) you're nothing in the industry. Sad but true. Its over for me. How do I tell Liam?

Holly.

My name is Holly Johanna Levi. I'm your average young woman. I'm typical. I work from home, writing a home improvement blog. I don't make very much money, but I make just enough to put a roof over Addison and my heads, put meals on the table and put clothes on our backs.

I love to read. I've read a lot of book series. I've read the Harry Potter books. The Percy Jackson books. The Divergent books. The Hunger Games books. The Fault In Our Stars. The Clique series. Junie B. Jones series, which actually was quite amusing even though its year one reading level.

Then theres my daughter is Addison Jewel Vincent. It's a long story, about me and Addison. But I guess I'll get right into it. Starting from the beginning...

Me and my best friend Bailey had been best friends since grade school. We did literally everything together, even though she was older then me. We even went on our first date together. We weren't dating, if you guys were thinking of it in that way. Bailey and I were on a double date. I was with some douche-bag, that at the time, I thought was attractive. Bailey was with this guy named Oscar.

I never went out with that stupid guy again, but Bailey dated Oscar for like, 4 more years after that bowling date. We were 14 years old on that first double date. Four years later, I was single and Bailey was with Oscar. On the night we graduated, Oscar proposed to Bailey. She accepted.

The wedding took place two years later, because Oscar and Bailey were busy with schooling. They were 20 when they got married. I was the lovely maid of honour, because Bailey had no sisters. Or brothers, but they wouldn't have been Bailey's maid of honour anyway. Okay, back on track.

They got married. I think it was seven months after the wedding Bailey found out she was pregnant. Nine months later she gave birth to Addison Jewel Vincent. They were taking Addison home from the hospital, and got into an accident. By some miracle, Addison lived. But Oscar and Bailey weren't as lucky.

Turns out Bailey had a will. She wrote it when she was eighteen. She wrote these words. "If I happen to die before my future children are 18, their Godmother is Holly Johanna Levi. I believe she would be a very capable mother, and she's too loving for words. That is Oscar and my request for any future children."

I was left with Addison. I've raised Addy since she was just one day old. She doesn't know anything about her 'real' parents. She thinks I'm her Mum. I don't know how to tell her that her 'real' Mum and Dad are dead. I'll probably end up telling Addy when she's older, and can understand easier.

To explain my tattoos... Bailey told me she'd always wanted sleeve tattoos. But she was too scared to get them. She thought the ink would affect her children if she ever got pregnant.

But I wanted to remember Bailey by getting tattoos. I got Addy, Bailey and Oscars names in fancy font. I also got a Rose, and an Irish flag because that's where I lived until Bailey died and I wanted to get away. Addison and I moved to London together to start a new life together without the horrible memories.

I also got a lipstick bottle with red lipstick inside, a star, a compass, a heart, a hummingbird, a rainbow, the word freedom, the word love, and the word remember.

I know its a lot, but once I started with the tattoos I couldn't stop. They're amazing, and I defiantly intend to get more. I'm now twenty-three years old. I have a three year old daughter. I'm single. I'm a little lonely. I lost my parents last year in a drunk-driving incident. I want some love in my life. Is that too much to ask?

Q: Thoughts? Comments?
Love you all like crazy!

-A xo