LILY🌸

The Answers🌾💦

After two years when i was 11 my parents told me that i wasn't their real child, they adopted me as that time they weren't able to have a child of their own. After listening to this i then understood why they were so bad to me , why they didn't lovedme, why they didn't believe me, why they always hurted me. I was actually happy that i got answer to all my questions that day ☺☺.
But deep inside i had cuts . I felt broken , because at that i time i knew that i am going away. They will send me away . They will just leave me the same way left so many scars to me. At that time i blamed them if they wanted to throw me away like this then why bother to adpot me at the first place. Everything felt like a joke at that time, it felt as if it wasn't life cause life ain't supposed to be like this. But then i thought maybe thos is a beginning to something good , so i had hope, hope to live a life what i desired.

Soon they droped me to an orphanage. This orphanage was a very big building and it was being funded by the government and wealthy people also gave this orphanage resources and money as Charity. At that moment i held up a hopes high. A sister called sister mary introduced and made me familier with the buildings and showed me the room where i would be staying. I shared my room with 3 other girls. When i entered the room and walked towars them, they pushed me and told me to get out of their sights. That time i smiled. I smiled cause i knew my hope are shattered there is no way for me to live a life i am only born to be joked with. From then on i suffered from depression and i stoped talking to anyone. Some people bullied me while some just ignored me. But i didn't care anymore cause now i didn't even feel that my soul was alive. I was just lost in darkness at that time.
I started sneak out of my room at night . At night i would go to the top of the building and stare at dark night. I would keep staring into the darkness for hours . I often thought that how much i had changed, once i was scared of darkness and now i would willingly spend my time in darkness. Infact i started to like darness.i just wanted to seep amd sink into this darkness. I at time stood on the croner of the roof and would think to jump down. Then one day i decided that i would just let everything go and enter the darkness. So i stood on the top and prepared my to jump down. And sink into the darkness, the darkness which lured me to itself, i would just give myself to it.