First I would meditate and close my eyes
Then I would face out toward the cold night skies.
Then I would wish as hard as I could
Then I would cry as any girl would.
This was my ritual that cursed me for many months
Sitting crossed-legged on the bed at thirteen.
I couldn't tell anyone, not my friends nor my family.
But the stars would be my guidance and keep me my company.
I was trapped in someone else for everyone to see
Condemned for all time, for the crime to be me.
Governments and politicians - all they do is fight
While I sit here crying, and praying into the night.
Little did I know, that in a school lesson one day
I would learn there was a term for this 'phase'.
Transgender.
Which led me onto question - why did it have to be me?
It took some time to find myself again. Questioning
If I should go back and join the company of men.
But I had to refuse, that was not my path
And so I had to stay, locked in society's wrath.
I started to learn more - searching communities of Instagram and Reddit.
To see if I really would remain alone.
Of course, that would not stay to be true.
Friends could always be found if you reach out your hand.
And so the time came in that cold evening hue .
Time to reveal myself and let out all that was true.
I wasn't who everyone thought they had seen.
I was a girl and I always had been.
