Like He Never Left

chapter 28

What feels like hours later, she squeezes me tightly before letting go, though her fingers still grip my sides loosely. She looks at me, concern etched into her blue eyes. 

"I don't know what happened, but I promise you this, you're going to be all right," she promises. 

My lips roll in between my teeth and I nod vigorously, trying not to choke up again. My hands find themselves on her shoulders, and I squeeze them before rubbing her upper arms quickly.

Her eyes harden, and her jaw clenches. Her hands grip my sides, and her head dips down.

"I'll be fine," I tell her, trying to ease her worry, but she doesn't buy it. 

"I'm having a hard time figuring out which of her pretty little faces I'm going to punch first," she grinds out, turning to face me again, and I snort.

"You sure do get creative with your threats," I chuckle, trying to bring some humor into the situation. I don't want to linger on the pain.

She lightly punches my upper arm and chuckles. "You dodged the bullet this time, loser, but only because the wound's still fresh and deep." She checks the time on her phone and nods to herself before looking back up at me with her big, blue worried eyes. "I've gotta let Jake out. Are you okay here?"

I throw her a small smile. "Yeah, I'm good here. Dad'll keep me distracted for now."

Her expression turns darkly serious at my last few words, and she murmurs softly, "Distraction only hides what happens in here." Her fingertips lightly trace my temple, and I can't help the shivers running down my spine at her featherlike touch. "It does nothing to help heal here." She brings her hand to my chest, right above my heart, and flattens her palm against it. "You do that for yourself with the people you love and trust." Her eyes bore into mine, conveying a silent message

I know immediately what she's referring to, and I can't bring myself to keep her gaze because I'm so ashamed. 

Her hands, soft and warm, snake up my neck and cup my cheeks, and she gently turns my face so I'm looking at her again. "Don't do that to yourself," she says softly, "Remember what we said earlier? You forgave yourself, Colt, I forgive you."

My eyes water, and I run my tongue over my teeth, and I scoff through a laugh. "Yeah, I'm being such a pansy." I run my hand over my eyes to get rid of the wetness building up.

She laughs through her nose, glancing down at the ground and then back to me, her teeth flashing me an incredulous smile. "Such a pansy." Her thumbs run over my cheekbones, and she pulls me in for a hug. 

We pull back after a few seconds, and she smiles. "Now I'm going to leave you to get your shit together, okay? Call me if you need anything, okay?"

I grin back. "Yeah, I will."

She nods with satisfaction, and she turns around and walks away.

Just before she disappears around the doorway, I call out to her. "Josie!"

Her head pops back into sight, and I throw her a shit-eating grin. "Hasta la bye-bye, mother."

She rolls her eyes playfully at me, but complies, mirroring my grin. "Hasta lasagna, fucker." 

I nod at her in gratification, and her smile simmers into knowing satisfaction before she disappears behind the wall once more.

We hadn't done that since middle school when we thought we were the shit, but it felt like the right thing to do in the moment. 

But moments after she's gone, I feel the weight of the betrayal settle back on my shoulders, sitting heavy on my chest.

A cool glass of ice water and some fresh air sounds great right about now, and I call to Johnny so we can enjoy some together.