oh boy

Prologue

 (listen to song from 0:10 while reading for full effect :))

I wish I wrote the way I thought.

All consumingly, with maddening hunger.

I'd write myself into mental breakdowns.

I feel unspeakably lonely. Drained.

I never thought you could love someone so deeply in one lifetime, and maybe I loved him in another lifetime and I promised him that no matter what happened I would find him.

I've felt more than one lifetime should allow.

That's why it's time for my time to end.

I feel nothing

I will be missed and grieved over but that's okay because they will get over it.

I tie my hair up and look at myself in the mirror. I laugh. A cold emotionless laugh.The things i do for you Elijah. But at least we will be reunited now.

I spill the substance from the pill bottle. 1,2,3,4.. I lose track as I'm ramming them into my mouth. Before I let them into my system to slowly allow my body to deteriorate I felt for the first time.

Im angry. Why Elijah? Why did you have to go? I try to not think of what we could be doing if he was here now. Me in his arms, as safe as I can be. Us not doing anything at all but just enjoying the presence of each other.

I know it wasn't his fault and he didn't choose to be taken away.

'Mila' A calm voice I recognise as Brianna, my best friend.

'Think about what you're doing, I know it's been hard but he would want you to live, live for him Mila.. Please' She slowly takes away the pill bottle.

'I feel broken Bri.. You don't understand. This wasn't meant to happen like this. He wasn't meant to be gone. I have no reason Bri. I have no reason to live.' I choke a sob

'What about us M? How could you be so selfish? He was my brother too, you know? You think I'm not broken too! But I choose to live for him because you would want the same for him if you were in his place.'

'The world is a cruel place. I'm too weak I don't belong here anymore.You're stronger than me Brianna, please take care of my Mom don't let her see me like this. I love you more than you know'

'If you love me stay here. Don't leave me.' She screams and calls for my mother.

Before she can stop me i plunge the remaining pills in my mouth

'MILA! My baby!NO' I briefly got a glimpse of my mother and best friend running to catch me from hitting the floor.

For one second, I regret it.

Hi guys,,

How's your quarantine going? This is my new account and i figured i should start to write again because it's one of my favourite things :)This ones a short one as it's only a prologue but i'll be sure to update as soon as i can everyday <3 Please comment and vote it would mean a lot

xoxo

mArYaM