Like He Never Left

chapter 27

But of course Brooke isn't being completely honest with me. That's why we're in this mess to begin with

"You're right," I mumble. "I don't know what I'm doing. When you had a problem with me, you told me straight up. There is another factor to this, there has to be. I just don't know what, and hell will probably freeze over before she's going to tell me. I just think it's ironic that I'm a lawyer and I can't even get back to the bottom of my own case."

"No offense, but damn right I'm right." She sighs and collects herself. "Listen. What I'm trying to say is that we've all recovered down here. What happened, it's in the past. Both of you need to come to terms with that, okay? She can only run you down with this for so long before enough is enough. You still deserve to be treated with respect after you've gone out of your way to show her that she's the one you love. If she still can't see that, she's a damn fool for it, Colt," she says softly, and my heart tightens. 

"I just don't understand," she mumbles, "We talked at the party. I told her we were cool with her. She apologized for..." she trails off, running a hand through her hair. 

She makes a right and pulls into a Raising Cane's drive-thru. 

"You guys talked?"

She glances as me as we come to a stop behind a few cars at the order menu.

"Yeah. I was going to tell you, but I didn't know if it was something that she was going to tell you later. I guess not."

I slump against the seat of the truck and both hands through my hair before holding the base of my neck in both hands. I look at Josie over my elbow. 

"When did you talk?"

"It was just before I went out to get you guys from the front yard. She came up to me, and I thought she was going to tell me to stay away from you," she scoffs, resting one wrist on the steering wheel and sinking into the corner of the seat between the door and the back of her seat, twisting her torso towards me. "She didn't. She seemed so small and anxious, and I was a little concerned, but you know, not my business. She told me that had she known we were still married, she wouldn't have agreed to your first date and that she didn't want to be a disturbance while she was down here. Like she was going out of her way to get our, or at least my own, approval."

"Well, she definitely did not tell me that."

Does that mean she regrets our relationship? Is this the end?

I don't like the way I'm not freaking out about the potential end of my relationship with someone I'm supposed to love. 

Josie pauses, her eye flitting to the stagnant line in front of us before they settle back on me. "Can I ask you something without you getting mad? Just be real, you know I'm not going to judge."

I nod, taking my hands off my neck and twisting so I can look at her better. "Anything."

"Why her?" I go to open my mouth to start my answer, but she beats me to it. "I mean, like, I know you. More than anyone besides Travis and Tommy. We can't deny that. You're not one to play the knight in shining armor, but she's definitely playing the damsel in distress. I just want to know why." She looks down, chuckling without a trace of amusement in her tone. "I'm just trying to connect the dots, I guess."

She pulls the car up before stopping it again and looking at me expectantly. 

I sigh and nod. It's time to be honest, with both Josie and myself. 

"She was there," I say bluntly. "I came back from Oak Bend after seeing you with Beau, and I was hurt. I knew her from before I came back in the first place. We fooled around when I came back because I wanted a distraction. We didn't put a label on it until... well, tomorrow will be our one year. I guess we just kinda fell in love as time went on," I continue on, not letting myself linger on the matter for too long. "It's really no excuse, and I know that now. I wish... I wish I would have stepped up and said something when I saw you on our porch. You were my wife, I should have fought for you, and I didn't. I guess I figured it was my punishment for leaving in the first place."