bubblegum bitches

chapter one.

discord - open.

minecraft - open. 

instagram - open.

i needed to find something to do ther then be on my laptop all day. i thought that while clicking on discord. i'm a dumbass. by the way, i'm sydney. sydney fuller. dumbass name, i know. shut up.

i checked discord to my girlfriend messaging me. god, i was so lucky to have her. she was one of the few things still keeping me going. my family sucked literal ass. my grandmother was cool tho, she never yelled at me even if i did some dumb shit. she actually tried to talk to me.

my mom could learn a thing or two.

my fan was on full blast as i talked to mia, that's the name of my girlfriend, by the way.

we basically were talking about our past lives, which we have became more and more aware of. we've always been forbidden lovers getting killed at young ages, and our death gets covered up because we are gay.

yes, wild, i know. shut up.

fuck. i just hurt myself on my pile of clothes, don't ask. i have a pile of clothes and trash on my bed because i don't have much motivation. I've been getting a lot better though, which is great. i just need my parents to stop screaming all the time and i'll be fine.

now my girlfriend sent me a playlist for me and i'm listening to it. so many great artists. great taste. another reason to add to the list why i love her.

we've been talking more which is good. more trusting. more happy. more communication. 

i quite honestly thought i ruined our relationship with a few selfish acts a few days. but she forgave me. thats good. thats really good.

oh shit, lustra is on. vibe time mother fuckers.

too aggresive? ok. sorry.

its 3:15 am now.

good. 

the best time to drink water and cry. but i don't feel like crying. im happy. I've been clean for 11 days baby. 

well i guess thats all.

ill write tonight, bye