wonderwall || ricci rivero

Simula

"Take the video down."

I was trying to control myself but Alison just wouldn't leave me alone. I had another video scandal leaked and it even came across UP when  Atenean's thing usually stays in Ateneo.

"Wala akong kinalaman doon!" Alison defended herself. "Pag kasi sex, sex lang! Bakit kayo nagvideo? Ano 'yon? Erotic film? Pornstar kayo?"

"E, ikaw? Ano ka? Pornhub 2.0? Source kang puta ka e," I was about to pull her hair but my friends were quick enough to stop me.

"Hindi ko nga sabi kinalat 'yon, e! Bakit ba ako 'yung pinagbibintangan mo! Kung ikinakalma mo kaya 'yung pepe mo! O ngayon, iyak ka na lang!"

Aba, puta 'to, ah.

"Tama na, Leila," saway ni Jia habang hinihigit ang braso ko. "Hindi natin classroom 'to. Huwag kang gumawa ng gulo."

"Wala rin tayong evidence na sa kanya galing 'yung video, Lei," dagdag naman ni Gela.

"Ikaw ang umiyak dahil wala kang dilig kaya kiki ko pinapakialaman mo!" I screamed before finding my way out of her classroom.

Alison hated me so much even way back highschool. She kind of did me dirty that time. Nalaman kong binayaran ng family niya ang principal para lang siya ang maging valedictorian.

Until we were already college, she would still look even for the smallest ways just to annoy the hell out of me. I took Architecture as my course and there was one time she ruined my plate. That was something I stayed all night for. Iyon pa kayang ikalat ang video ko, hindi niya magawa sa'kin?

"This is all your ex's fault!" rinig kong reklamo ni Jia.

I was caught offguard. Then, I suddenly remember him again. I had no family all my life. My parents died when I got into college but even before they passed away, our family didn't feel like one. I was left alone with their shares. Literally, money was my only reason to live before until I met Jordan.

He made me feel my life worth living for. I thought I'd be with him in every milestones of my life and again, I was wrong. Akala lang 'yon. And I made myself believe that I was born single, I can live my life being single again. I was used being alone and now I have to feel it again.

"I'm sorry, Leila," he cried himself in my shoulder. "Akala ko, handa na 'ko e... Hindi pa pala."

"Ah, practice lang pala 'yun?" I tried to be strong when I realized I'd be alone again. "What's wrong, Jordan?"

"Hindi na 'ko masaya e," he bit his lower lip. "Nakakapagod pala pag paulit ulit na lang. Hindi pa ako handang... pumasok sa responsibilidad, Leila. Hindi ko pa kayang tumira dito kasama ka araw araw. Naiintindihan mo ba? Hindi pa 'ko handa."

My lips parted. He was acting like this  because I asked him to live with me so I wouldn't feel all alone? This house just didn't feel like home!

"Ah, pero yung titi mo palaging handa, 'diba?" I scoffed. "Then leave, I'd never ask you to stay, Jordan. I'm tired of asking people to stay and getting disappointed in the end because they just won't."

Parang gumuho ang mundo ko nang tumayo siya sa pagkakaupo sa kama ko at binitawan ang kamay ko para kuhanin ang mga gamit niya sa closet at ipinasok lahat sa kanyang duffel bag.

"Please, bilisan mo," I sobbed. "Ayaw ko nang makita ka rito na hindi ka na akin. Ayoko nang makita ka rito na hindi kita nayayakap..."