The Good Doctor: Shaun Murphy X Reader "Symptomatic Love" Oneshot

Not an update but a story nonetheless

Hey all,

Thank you so much for reading this one-shot! Though I wrote it years ago and haven't watched the Good Doctor in a while, it's funny for me to look back now and remember how much of a crush I had on Shaun. He's a very likable character and he helped open my eyes to the struggles that people with ASD (autism spectrum disorder) face. I think those struggles are even more pronounced than neurotypical people can imagine.

Fast forward one year, and I had no idea how relevant this show would be to my life. I started college and met the most handsome boy I'd ever seen, one with fanfiction brown eyes, a contagious laugh, and a kind heart. We became friends and started dating a few months afterward. He's nerdy and a writer like me, and he inspires me every day to reach for my utmost creative potential. We've been dating for a little over a year now and I'm looking forward to a bright future with him, doing all the things we love- traveling the world, watching our favorite shows and reading our favorite books, debating our thoughts on life and people and emotions. He is the love of my life.

I know he might not want me to share too much about our personal feelings online so I won't, but there is one thing that I do want to focus on as it applies to this fanfic- the love of my life just so happens to have ASD.

The reach of this fanfic has spread further than I expected (thank you for 3K reads! I am beyond grateful!), and I wanted to use that reach to tell our story.

Just like every relationship, there are positives and negatives to dating someone with ASD. And just like every media representation, the Good Doctor gets some things wrong about people with ASD. I'm going to talk a little bit about my experiences dating someone with ASD, although please keep in mind that everyone's experiences with ASD are different.

It's hard to tell what about my boyfriend is the result of his personality and what is the result of ASD. People might not realize that, but it's so much a part of who he is that he doesn't even know which actions or personality traits are "a result of" his ASD. I can sometimes tell, but even so, my boyfriend might not be himself without ASD. Maybe he wouldn't be so wonderfully nerdy, or so open-minded, or a million other traits that I love about him. I think my favorite part of him is his honesty and his willingness to communicate.

Sometimes our interpretations of things pass like ships in the night, so we have to pause, sit down with each other, and explain what we're thinking until the other understands. And this goes for anyone in a relationship- communication is the easiest way to avoid conflict. It's always okay for opinions to differ as long as you're open-minded and take the time to listen to the other's opinions, wants, and needs.

My boyfriend is also one of the most kind-hearted and empathetic people I've ever met, so I want to dispel the myth that people with ASD cannot feel empathy or cannot love. I've never been more sure of anything than the fact that my boyfriend loves me- he tells me so often that I could never forget, and he goes out of his way to do little things like buy me flowers, plan movie dates or dinner dates, buy me clothes he thinks I'll like or Japanese stationery, or stop and pet a dog with me if I want to (we both love doggos). He is romantic. If you have a crush on someone with ASD, please don't be afraid to tell them! And you SHOULD tell them. Don't expect them to figure it out themselves. That can be especially difficult and confusing for people with ASD.

He also loves to cuddle and hug me. That's another myth I want to dispel- my boyfriend is the cuddliest person I've ever met. A lot of neurotypical people think people with ASD are basically allergic to touch, but this is simply not the case. I will say, however- if you have a friend with ASD, please do not hug them without asking first! Even if you ask, they might say no, and that's okay. My boyfriend's senses are heightened when compared to the average person, so a lot of things do bother him. He can't wear certain types of fabric because it irritates his skin, and can't handle jewelry at all. He will let almost no one hug or touch him, and only does so with me because he trusts me so much. If he's focused on another task, me touching him can still sometimes be startling, so I try to make sure to ask him "Can I hug you?" if he's busy with something else. Oftentimes I don't have to, as he always initiates it himself. My cuddly boy.

Kissing and intimacy is normal! I won't talk about that much other than to say he's good at what he does.

Oftentimes, it's also assumed that people with ASD have a certain obsession or "special interest" that they talk about nonstop. For Shaun in the show, this is science or medical terminology. Personally I believe everyone has their special interests. My boyfriend loves anime and psychology. I love books and Japanese culture. Everyone has interests. Of course, there's a reason someone is diagnosed with ASD, so these special interests do differ somewhat. I know my boyfriend loves his interests so usually, I let him talk about them as often as he wants, but if I'm becoming socially exhausted it's usually best to clearly say, "Can we switch the topic to something else?" (I'll say I don't do this often because I love the look on his face when he's happy and excited! He has a lot of stressors in his life so I want him to have time to be passionate. Besides, I enjoy talking with him.) But if you need to, it's best that you make it clear that you're tired of the topic and need to talk about something else for your own mental well-being. People with ASD may not pick up on this social need by themselves, and your feelings are important too.

Ah yes, the one thing that all neurotypical people are afraid of... autism meltdowns. Once again, each person's experience with ASD is different: for instance, my boyfriend is verbal while others with ASD are not, so please take what I say with a grain of salt. I am no professional, just a loving girlfriend who wants to educate those curious about what it's like inside her boyfriend's mind!

My boyfriend rarely has autism meltdowns, but when he does, the first question I ask myself is, "What the hell do I do? How do I help?" Witnessing a meltdown can be scary and upsetting, and my reaction absolutely sucked the first time around. Over time, I think I've gotten better at dealing with it. The first thing you need to do is read the person's body language and pay attention to what they're telling you. Please do this before trying to come to your own conclusion about the best way to help. Does he move away when I try to touch him? Is he feeling upset by his emotions or by the environment around him? If you're in a public space, try to relocate somewhere quiet and private.

Once you do that and the meltdown starts, as someone with anxiety, it's helped me to think of meltdowns as similar to panic attacks. During a panic attack, I would want someone to reassure me that everything will be okay, so that's what I do. I reassure him verbally and usually also by holding him or letting him hold me (again, this is only because he trusts me so please be careful touching someone in the midst of a meltdown). During the meltdown, do NOT try to continue to argue something or express your own emotions. Sometimes you just need to let it happen. For my boyfriend, it's usually an expression of emotion, and that's okay. After the meltdown, try to talk through those emotions if that's what needs to happen.

Another thing- my boyfriend is not an alien. People with ASD are not as foreign as you might think. That's a horrible myth that needs to be dispelled. Most people who meet him have no idea that he has ASD. He has a great sense of humor and approaches the difficulties that he faces with tongue in cheek. First and foremost, he is an interesting and fun person, a great friend and a better boyfriend. He is a good listener, the best at giving advice, intelligent and insightful, selfless and sweet, curious and creative. He has done and will continue to do amazing things.

My boyfriend and I each have our disabilities- he has ASD and I have diabetes. There are times where I have horrible low blood glucose episodes and I can't remember anything that happened. Occasionally I can't even sit up to eat or drink glucose, and my boyfriend has to feed it to me. I take care of him and he takes care of me. That's what love is all about.

What else, what else... those are pretty much all the major ways that our relationship differs from that of any other couple. A little extra communication, a little extra time and love which just makes us stronger. We're a power couple!

P.S. Don't worry! Even though I have a boyfriend, I'll still continue to write x readers because I'm an INFP and creating ideal fictional relationships is basically one of my personality traits. Also, out of curiosity, how many of y'all still use Wattpad as your primary fanfic platform? I'll admit I usually use A03 or visit writing Tumblrs. If I made a Tumblr, would you all keep reading me there?

Let me know! And don't be afraid to message me or ask questions about ASD or diabetes. I don't bite!

P.S. Yes, that picture is a rendition of my boyfriend and I drawn by @ParradoXyl!