kanye west is my dad?!

chapter one

It was your average run of the mill day. The late July sun was hot and heavy in the mid day sky. I was currently waiting for a reply from my friend seeing whether or whether not she wanted to go for a bike ride with me. I often rode my bike around all day long into the sunset, which coincidentally was my favourite part of a summer day. I always appreciated the dip in temperature and the colourful sky. I also really love to bike. Not really biking as in the sport, it's more of a hobby. Something about speed, really.

None the less, my room was boiling, and so when I heard my mom calling from downstairs I was more than delighted to, if it meant getting out of this darn house. Unsuspectingly I walk into the kitchen, and retrieve some juice from the fridge ( another favorite of mine #juiceislyfe). Sadly I don't get to keep the juice for long because when I turn around Kanye West is sitting at my dining room table. The glass drops to the floor and shatters into tiny segments and settle into the cracks in between the tiles, seriously fuck my life. Back to more important thing though, aWhy the Hek is Kanye West in my kitchen?!?!? I quickly do a quick check in my mind to see if I've ever posted singing videos online. Nope none, which is probably a good thing because holy Jesus I cannot sing for the life of me. Oh man! I probably look incredibly stupid just standing here! What do I do? Do I curtsy? I mean this IS Kanye West!! Before I have the time to make up my mind my mom is speaking to me, "Olga" (YES OK MY NAME IS OLGA MIGHT AS WELL WRITE A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS BASED SOLELY ON MY LIFE) "I think you should sit down" my mom says softly, which wants she hiding something. Slowly I round the island and sit on the opposite side of the table as Kanye and my mom. My mom starts talking again, " Olga I know you've never had a father. Well before you were born I had made some bad life choices. I ended up on the streets and the only real way to support myself was as a prostitute. Ergo you were born. I was never 100% sure who your dad was. When you came along I immediately cleaned up my act, and the point of what I'm trying to say is that Kanye is your dad. And for the record I did infact know Kanye well before you were born. Just one thing lead to another and you were conceived. No prostitution there." She finishes her speech with a small nod. I look at my mom, then I look at Kanye.

KANYE WEST IS MY DAD ?!
And with that I faint.