Love Changes (Taekook) ✔

5. "Iam fine"

Taehyung's pov.

Nowadays i've noticed a whole new Jungkook. A new terrible and tired one. He is so quite, he doesnt talk or laugh with us anymore. He has bags under his red swollen eyes. He is wearing baggy oversized long sleeved shirts which is never his taste in fashion or style. He is getting thinner; his face, his cold hands, his legs. Literally everything in him is not him anymore.

Its been a whole month now from the first day that he had a panic attack in front of me near the school, i've knew something was wrong with him. But i never pointed my finger on it. I cant figure it out..

I knew nothing about panic attacks, depression, anxiety... i knew nothing at all... Until that very same day, the moment i stepped inside my house i ran straight to my computer, searching and reading about everything... it may sound or be ridiculous but i needed to know at least what happened to him. I didnt tell anyone, not even Jin hyung...

We all asked him about what is happening to him but he would always answer with the same words, with the same low tired voice, with his eyes glued to the ground ; saying "Iam fine"

But Jungkook is defenetly not fine... defenetly not alright... He is not himself anymore and it scares me so much...
He looks sad...
He looks so down...
He looks nothing like Jungkook...
And i will figure this out no matter what...

Jungkook's pov.

My life had changed and turned 180° around... Why you ask? Well let me tell you...

Flashback to 1 month ago...

It was a normal boring day at school. Taehyung is still pretty clingy but iam used to it now. 'To be honest i like it... I know... The whole thing is wrong, iam so stupid to fall in love with my best friend, but i cant help it. I mean how cant i love him when he is... him. He is hot, cool, awesome, cute, funny, smart, handsome, brave, talented, lovely, he always helps me if i need any, he even one time helped and saved me from the bullies that where trying to hurt me; and i gotta say he looked hella hot when he yelled and threatened the 2 bullies, i can never forget that moment. He stayed glued to me even more and always send scary protective glares at whoever stares at me for more than 5 seconds. All my friends stood beside me too. And iam surely so thankful for that'
I stepped inside the house after unlocking it with my key, i thought my parents where still at work but hell i was so wrong.
"I cant have such a fag in my house!" I stood frozen in my place as i heard my dad.
But what he said next made my eyes widen; nearly popping out at the thought of them knowing about my secret and them being... like this.
"Oh.. look who finally came. The disappointment"
"D-d-dad..?" i stuttered out.
"Dont 'dad' him now. I never thought that you -my only son- would be such a disgrace for our family!"
"M-mom?!" I said as tears where already streaming down my pale face.
"No. Iam no longer a mom for such a disgusting thing. I hate you. You are no longer our son. We are so disappointed in you." She said with a frown and crunched her face showing her disgust.
"B-but... h-how?"
"How? Simple! I found your dairy." My eyes widen even more now, if that was even possible. 'That is why i couldn't find it today.. i should've forgot it on my desk' i thought before being brought back to reality by her voice "What? Surprised right? I read all the pages. I read how you where feeling when you changed schools, how you fell in love with that disgusting fag of yours" she added. Making me burn from anger, tears still streaming down my face like a river.
"You can talk however and what ever you want about me... But NEVER i repeat NEVER EVER say anything about him with that mouth of yours. If you say another word about him i won't hesitate doing something that you won't be happy about. And iam leaving this house now. So no need to continue your useless speech." I said fuming with anger stepping upstairs to pack my stuff in my black backpack; leaving them with a shocked face.
"Much of a supportive helpful parents you two are!" I said stepping out shutting the door loudly, leaving the house with my ex-parents in.

End of flashback

For another 3 days of sleepless lonely homeless days, i tried finding a job to earn money from. And i gotta say it was pretty hard, because of my age and lack of talent.

Thankfully a cafe, near my school, accepted me working there after school. The owner of the cafe knew my story and handed me the room behind the cafe for me to live in, in the mean time, till i get enough money to rent an apartment from myself.

But that was far from possible now. Since im still not in the suitable age to do so. So iam still this day staying in the back of the cafe; rarely eating, always having nightmares in the cold lonely nights, always having much more worse attacks, and currently i've started cutting and harming myself... I mean who would even care if i die or harm myself? My parents? Heh no way! They hate me to the core. My friends? They will move on. They will eventually know the truth and hate me too.

I've been going to school normally, well not normally but at least no one is noticing the changes in me. I only wear the oversized shirts to hide my ugly body. And of course long sleeved ones to hide my deep cuts and scars.
Iam a complete mess. Thankfully the students and friends never did notice. I always lie about being fine.

My friends tried so much asking me if i was alright but i would always answer them by "Iam fine" and i thank goodness they all believe my lies....

Well that is what i thought... till this day... it all happened too fast... and i dont know if i should regret my actions or not... hopefully i dont...

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Ok this one is so shitty its so bad ik... iam sorry for any mistake♡

I think this story will be pretty short since its my first time writing. But hope you like it♡

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