𝙖𝙡𝙚𝙭𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙧𝙖 • 𝙟𝙤𝙝𝙣 𝙨𝙝𝙚𝙡𝙗𝙮 [complete]

••• 20 •••

I scoffed, shaking my head at his words. "This is crazy. Tommy?"

Tommy's face was blank as he looked at me. "I'm sorry, Alex. You're too much of a wild card; I can never predict your next move. Salvatore's right."

"No," I shook my head quickly, horrored that he could even consider taking Salvatore's side. "I can change. He betrayed you, Tom, he's a liar!"

"You're not a Peaky Blinder anymore," Tommy uttered, making me gasp slightly. I felt as though time had slowed as I looked around the room, gauging the others' reactions. It broke my heart when nobody spoke.

"No... You can't do that, Tommy, not after all these years," I said, my heartbeat quickening. I looked to John, my eyes wide. "John?"

He said nothing as he stared at the ground, and I almost screamed.

"We took a vote and it was unanimous," Tommy stated bluntly. "I'm sorry, Alex."

"Where's Gerald?" I asked, knowing that he was the one person who I may have been able to trust to have my back.

"He's at the docks, sorting out some deliveries," Tommy answered. "He's aware of the situation. He agrees with me."

Everything I thought to be true was crashing down around me. The people I saw as family were throwing me out. The sadness I felt slowly translated to anger, at the fact that after everything I had done for them, they were so quick to turn on me just for some money. Then that sheer anger silenced as it was too painful to process, and I felt my mind numb.

Salvatore patted Tommy's shoulder before leaving the room, a smug look on his face.

"Alright," I said, surprising even myself with how calm I sounded. Taking out the red-handled knife Tommy gave me, I placed it on the table and watched his eyes flicker down to it. "Fat load of good that did me. It didn't even scare away those boys from school. They had bigger ones."

John frowned at my words while Tommy's face remained blank.

I let out a dry laugh before continuing.  "I didn't tell you 'cause I didn't want to ruin the Gypsy magic you believed in. And I knew you wouldn't let me go back to school if I told you what they did to me. So I just put it back into your wardrobe, and hoped you wouldn't ask why. And you didn't."

"Alex..." Tommy mumbled, his voice quiet.

Without saying another word, I turned and left the room, rushing out of the cursed house.

I got back into Danny's car and hurriedly drove to my flat, almost running over three people on the way.

As I entered my flat, I took some deep breaths, forcing my tears to remain at bay. I didn't want to grant Tommy Shelby the satisfaction of having finally made me cry.

I felt numb as I collapsed onto a chair at the kitchen table. Having escaped Danny's torture chamber, I thought I had escaped Hell. But Hell was waiting for me at home.

None of them stood up for me. Not one of them even said a word to me, besides Tommy. I thought I was coming home to safety and trust, but all I got was heartbreak.

What I had said to Danny was true: I had nothing to live for. So what was the point of living? Ever since I was born, all I knew was pain. And I had finally had enough.

My hand slowly moved into my coat pocket and I took out the gun. I didn't feel any fear as I raised it to my temple, but instead a calmness.

Salvatore had won.

Did I even try to win?

I cocked the gun and took a deep breath, prepared for it to be my last. I closed my eyes and thought of John. It was almost enough for me to put the gun down.