Did I F@$%ing Stutter? - Ranting

The Source of All Evil (SPOILER ALERT)

Why?

Pudding.

It all started because of frickin' pudding. I am literally surrounded by drama queens. GROW THE HELL UP, YOU PANSIES! It's pudding not a damn video game, or book, or anything of remote importance! KISS AND MAKE UP ALREADY DAMMIT!! (hahaha, choice of words- shut up, you perverse tards.)

2. Before that absolutely ludicrous drama, I watched "Dragon Ball Z: Battle of the Gods". Awesome movie by the way, I have very few complaints.

You even want to know WHY Beerus wanted to destroy the Earth? Or, at least, officially declared he was going to destroy it?

Pudding.

He wanted pudding.

SO. FREAKING. MUCH.

But...no.

That loveable, pink bubblegum blob known as Buu didn't wanna share.

Beerus: Aw HEY-ELL NO!! That sh*t's not gonna fly, b**ch! (keep in mind, I'm paraphrasing.)

So the purple cat god goes ape sh*t, collectively kicks Buu's non-sharing @$$, and starts whining like a psychopath how "Omg, YOU all get wonderful delectible pudding, while I'M forced to miss out and starve (even though I ate just about everything else at this stupid human party)! Pudding is all that @#$%ing matters!!!! How @#$%ing DARE you!!" *commence battle phase!*

Then Goku has to be this Super Saiyan god with hot-pink hair and try to beat Beerus in a fight and nearly gets killed along with everyone else and Earth.

Why?

Pudding! :D

Beerus's parting words (paraphrased): "When I come back you better have pudding!"

Yep.

That's all that matters. Stupid, egotistical, immature rat-cat. (But he's fun to laugh at!)

3. Well, after all that jazz, a few days later, comes the NEXT bizarre example.  I got this new DVR box (that doesn't record) and my brother works for the company so he was coming over to install it. Coolio. Nothing dumb here.

Yeah right.

Earlier that day my mom and I went to the store and pudding was on sale so we bought a bunch. I mean, come on, we haven't had Snack Packs in our house for literally YEARS until this point. So I thought "Bro, this is bad@$$!"

We got home and my brother comes over and he sees one of the Snack Packs of my specific favorite flavor (butterscotch) and he's all "Hey, sister, who I absolutely love!"

By that statement I automatically know he wants something and it's a big fat lie. We used to try to kill each other on a daily basis when we were growing up.

I almost succeeded.

He almost did too.

You could say it was a tie.

Anywho, I instantly said "No. Whatever it is."

"Aw, come on, I just want one of your pudding packets! :D "

"B**ch, I said 'no'! These are mine! You got a job, get your own!"

"Share! D: "

"No!"

"Come on!"

"FRICKIN' NO!"

*commence battle phase!*

We wound up fighting and arguing the rest of the time he was there, which included him saying "Women don't know what they're talking about when it comes to electronics."

Oh.

Hell.

No.

B**ch, I'M the one who fixed the dvd player when the wiring got jacked up! I took the thing apart, fixed the loose wire and everything else that was wrong with it, and put it back together by myself and it worked just fine afterwards! Also, why the HELL did you shove a penny in the player?! You freaking child! You know what else, pansy? I can even fix laptops and video game consoles better than you can! So shut the hell up, Mr. I-don't-read-directions!!!

Needless to say, he ignored me like last week's spaghetti. His wife yelled at him later while I got the DVR actually working and the remote programmed. Maybe I should work for the cable company instead.

Ass.

I refuse to censor that.

Before he left I grew a heart and gave him 2 of my 4 Snack Packs. We hugged and made up. :)

Once again, this all started because of pudding.

Holy. Freaking. Sh*t. Really??? Why???

I had one answer.

That's right!

Pudding is the source of all evil.

Your argument is invalid.

You: "But-!"

No. Negatory, ghost rider.

Till next rant! ;D

~MGPD

December 8th, 2014