Did I F@$%ing Stutter? - Ranting

Control Alt Delete (random complaining...)

This part is gonna be a bit different. Has nothing much to do with general common sense, more like technology. Mainly concerning this new tablet I bought. You may or may not agree with a few things. Also, I wrote it directly from my thought process.
Here we go.
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This keyboard kinda sucks. It is super tiny, the keys are super close together and mushed on the right side, it's hard to get a word/letter out without having to practically punch the keys, and some keys aren't even in the right place.

Who made this thing? How come I have the only kind of tablet with a keyboard that doesn't look like an actual keyboard?

It doesn't even have a usb port like it was advertised. It has a music option, but how am I supposed to put my music on it if there isn't a usb port? Or my pictures? Or my book files?

Wow, the auto correct doesn't even work in this program either. And the shift key on the left side is tiny. I have to take my hand off the keyboard just to hit "shift" and " or '. Seriously, who thought of this? Could they just not make the keyboard any bigger or something? Or this screen for that matter? The tablet could have been bigger to at least match the keyboard size. But nooooo. It has to look like it came from the world's smallest bug country. And what's with the magnet to hold the folio shut? It could fall open at any time and isn't very secure. What's the point of having it if the folio is just gonna fall open? POINTLESS.

~Oh, we're off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of oz. Because because because because of the interesting farce this was.~ zzzzzzzzz Did I mention the 'z' key only works half of the time? Like Kristen Stewart. All words, no presentation. Curse this tiny, unproductive keyboard. Took me five minutes just to type that one insignificant row of 'z's.

Something else. The " key isn't in the right place. I have to keep moving my hand to get it right. Whenever I type without correcting I get this:

Sally
s dog ran away and it
s collar is in the yard.
I
m not sad.
Aren
t you shocked that I don
t care? Well it
s not my problem.
DUH.
I don
t even know a Sally.
Who
s this girl supposed to be? Did her dog really run away? Maybe it got run over. Does she have a dog? I don
t know. I don
t care. I
m more concerned about this keyboard. It
s like a braindead chihuahua. I don
t know if I spelled that ^ right because this thing doesn
t have autocorrect when the keyboard is plugged in. WHAT THE HELL!!! I HAVE TO GO BACK AND TYPE EVERYTHING OVER AGAIN CUZ KEYS STICK AND DON
T  WANT TO WORK. BUTTER FLOGGER!!!! (I don't even know......)

*back to normal typing so we can all comprehend what is freaking going on.

Wow, this Elf movie I'm watching on tv is ten times more entertaining than I thought this tablet computer was going to be. Hahaha Buddy ate a cotton ball. I don't know how those taste good to him, I think they're gross.
Ever been to the dentist and had teeth removed? Yeah, all that cotton and gauze afterwards is GROOOOOOSSSSSSS!

Why does my tablet screen look like a discount 3DS? It's not even 3D. I think it's trying to blind me. Why can't I tell what color is the actual color on this damn thing? Is it black, blue, purple, or gray? Why does each section of screen look like it has different lighting than the rest of it?

That
s it. I
m officially color blind and we
re all gonna pay.
You for my bad color and typing skillz and having to see it,
and me for an eye appointment and a new pair of glasses.
Yes, foolz, I wear glasses. Power to the geeks and geek-etts who might have
em.
And the people who wear
em just cuz they
re blind.

8D

And 7 inches apparently doesn't mean 7 inches. It means "Hahaha LOL I tricked your stupid @$$ into getting a sucky RCA tablet cuz we actually used to make quality products in the 80s and 90s." You know what, RCA? SCREW YOU.  I don't see a point in returning this piece of crap cuz the only good tablets I could get in exchange are way out of my budget and WAY past the price I paid for this. Way to take advantage of month-to-month-living people. You SUCK. And what would I use the money for? Pokemon cards? Nope. I have plenty of those already.

679+ And games. Lots and lots of games. And movies. I love the movies. Except that recent one.

Quickly losing interest.....brain cells...dying.....

Eyes...burning out of sockets...

Is this keyboard ruining all the training I went through in school to learn to type? Yes. I'll be lucky if I still remember how to type correctly by the time I get off this stupid thing.

Oooo Santa gonna get owned by the park rangers! (....still watching Elf...)

Officially lost interest. Imma watch the new Toy Story spin-off. Dinosaurs FTW!!!

Good day, peoples.

~MGPD

December 7th/8th, 2014