In The Meadow

One.

I ran quickly towards the sounds of screams coming in the straight direction ahead. Monkeys, fog, and blood rain collapsed around me. It's there and it's real and i can feel it. it's suffocating how real it is.

"Peeta" I whisper to myself as I keep running. I have to reach him. But he's no where in reach, can't be seen or heard. where could he have gone?

"Katniss! Run!" he voice radiates around me in all directions. "Where are you?", I asked myself looking around for him, "where are you peeta?", i feel like i'm screaming to myself. because there's nobody around but me and the game. I try to yell for him but nothing can be made of my sounds when everything around me is too loud, of all the tributes yelling for mercy and the cannons blasting. it's all too much.

And then i see him. he's right there holding out his warm hand and his smile spreading across his face as he had found me. thank god, i thought, no i was convinced i had lost him again.

"Peeta.." i whispered and finally he could hear me, everything was silent around us. i place my hand into his and everything that was once so loud, became silent.

"thank god you're okay. i thought i lost you." he mumbled into my shoulder as he embraced me into his arms. there's a soft kiss placed on my cheek as he smiles looking at me.

"Where did you go?" I asked as i ran my fingers through his sweaty blonde hair. he's been running, from what? and then i heard him gasp. his face pained with fear and hurt. i looked over trying to find the answer.

"Peeta?" i say softly and he looks down, "what is it?" i ask and he shakes his head as he looks down to his side and slowly pulls the arrow out of his ribs that was placed there by another tribute from the opposite side of my head. He drops slowly onto his knees as i drop with him placing my hands around his face, calming him. As I did with Rue.

"Hey, hey you're okay." i whisper pulling his head onto my lap. i wipe the blood off of his mouth and smile down onto him. I place my hands over his wound and hold tightly. I can't stop the bleeding. I know that, he knows that, anyone watching knows that.

all they ever wanted was me miserable.

"Katniss" he speaks out weakly. his hands tremble as he reaches for cheek. he wipes away the small tear falling down my face.

"shh, just rest. it's okay. don't talk, you'll be okay" i say to him and the lie rolls off my tongue. I know there is nothing that can be done or sent to help him. haymitch can't send anything.

Peeta can't leave me. He can't die.

"I love you" his words came out soft, and shaky. They were hard for him to spit out, he's exhausted - you can see it all over his face how long it took for him to spit the 3 words out.

"real or not real" i asked as a smile appeared on his face with a soft cough.

"Real" he said as he looked up into the sky. the sun was setting. it was beautiful he was beautiful. a mockingjay flew across the sky playing the song Rue and I had sung.

"Orange, like the sunset" i said to peeta as his sight was taken off of me and up towards the sky. a tear rolled down his cheek as he closed his eyes softly. I watched his chest take it's last rise up and down. His hand gripped to mine so tightly, had let go.

He was gone, Peeta had died.

I ran my hands through his soft blonde hair. Tears filled in my eyes to the point of no sight. it was blurry. but the birds didn't stop singing. they continued on. as  did the games.

"please don't leave me" i whispered, hopefully to only his ears but i could see the capitols people tearing up, "you have to wake up now" i said shaking him gently. and then there was a cannon and my eyes widened.

no.
no.
wake up.
wake up peeta.

"PEETA WAKE UP!" i yelled, screaming and looking up at the sky yelling like he could hear me begging for him to come back to me.

"PEETA!" i yelled sitting straight up out of bed. there's sweat on my forehead and tears streaming down my face. i look around but it's dark, besides a small lantern sitting on the table across the room. it's quiet besides my heavy breathing.

I felt a pair of arms wrap around me, pulling me back into bed and a soft kiss placed on my shoulder, "i'm right here, katniss" his tired voice spoke out.

a dream, of course it was a dream.

I took a deep breath and held onto his arms, he spent a few minutes to calm me down as his hands rubbed my back.

"do you wanna talk about it?" he whispers and i shook my head. the nightmares, they come and they never go, not since i entered the games. Peeta gets them to, but him are a mixture of the games and the highjacking. I know when and when not to wake him up.

i shake my head, but no words come out. no i don't want to talk about it.

"I'm right here." he says again just for reassurance. He's right here and breathing as I listen to his heart beat and watch his chest go up and down, he's breathing. His hearts beating. He's alive katniss, get some sleep before the kids wake up.

l place my hand on his chest and feel it moving up and down, it's comforting. Sometimes I still hear caesar's voice on the screen as I was in 13 and he just announce his special guest, Peeta Mellark. I remember the comfort I felt when I touched the screen and whispered to myself, you're alive.

"You're alive" i said to him as he kissed my forehead.

A few moments of silence fell over us as Peetas voice filled my ears, "you had a dream i died, is that real or not real?" he asked as his arms tightened a little tighten to comfort me.

"real" i said back as i sat up out of his arms and walked slowly down the hall placing my dads jacket on around my shoulders and opening the back door to the meadow that placed itself around my house.

I let the cold air fill my lungs and sting my face, but it was felt good considering i broke a sweat not long ago. i looked out along the sunrise and watched the birds leave the nest. i wonder what it would be like. to fly away. to forget.

The door slid open as someone sat down next to me and brought me a cup of tea.

"Hi haymitch" i smiled as he patted my back.

"Peeta called, said you had a bad night" He raspy voice spoke as i nodded in response. Bad night seems to be the theme running around my life. at least, haymitch can understand that.

"Yeah, something like that." i mumbled out as i sipped the warm team and felt it fill through me. i heard the door open and shut behind me knowing who walked il out the door. Peeta sat on the other side of me smiling and kissed my cheek.

"Did you ever think we'd end up doing this every morning? Drinking tea before the kids wake up? like proper adults?" I asked the haymitch and peeta. they didn't respond right away, just a shake of the head and a chuckle. peeta brought his tea up to his lips and you could see the smoke coming off of the tea into the cold air.

Haymitch finally spoke out, "Oh absolutely not sweetheart, I didn't think you and that boy would make it 2 days in that arena when I first met you." I watched as he slipped a little alcohol into his tea. He has been trying to sober up and doing well. Some nights are harder to sleep than others. Some mornings are harder to get out of bed than others. if there's one thing i can understand is just trying to figure out how to keep living.

"I sure didn't think so" Peeta laughed.

"I have no chance of winning!" Peeta yelled to us around the dining room table.

He was right, he didn't think so. but to be honest. i didn't think so either.