His Nerd

Chapter Fifty- Four

I assumed this was the destination as I watched him  drop his book bag on the floor before turning to face me 

The room was filled with an awkward and anxious tension making me instantly regret agreeing to this. Something about this just felt different. The atmosphere was thick and tense which wasn't of the norm with him

I bit the inside of my cheek out of nervous habit as he dug his hands deeper into his jean pockets 

"so" I stretched out, "whats up?" I asked not being able to handle another second of this awkward situation 

He shut his eyes for a split second almost as he was preparing himself mentally before muttering, "Forgive me" 

I looked at him in confusion, getting ready to ask what he was apologizing for, before his hands gripped my arms pushing me against the lockers as his lips attacked mine in a rough kiss 

My eyes went wide as I struggled beneath him, squirming, trying to move away but it was no use. He had his whole body pressed against mine keeping me still

I suddenly bit his bottom lip hard catching him off guard giving me my chance to escape as his grip lessened. I removed my arms from his grip pushing him back with all of my force panting for air

"What the fuck Mason" I all but hollered, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand in disgust

I stared at him in fury as he stood in front of me looking shell shocked as his hand was placed on his now bloody lip

We remained staring at one another for about ten seconds,  no one daring to say another word 

I couldn't fathom the situation. I didn't want to fathom the situation

His eyes suddenly became glossy before he threw a punch at the lockers leaving a dent 

"Fucking hell" he growled clutching his bruised knuckled 

I stayed in my position not daring to move as I simply watched him 

"I'm sorry Angela" He said in a soft manner as his eyes mirrored glass, "I just wanted to know what it would be like to kiss you. I swear I didn't mean any harm. I just" he took a deep sigh while he hung his head down low, "I just needed to know" 

"You're dating Taylor" I said looking at him in disgust and disappointment

"Her and I are getting to know one another but we aren't dating" he rebutted looking at me in the eyes, "I needed to kiss you to let you go" 

I looked at him as if he just said the dumbest thing in the world since he just fucking did

Before I could respond,  he continued further explaining himself,

"I needed to be free. and the only way to be free was to kiss you just once. It was haunting me day and night keeping me from forming relationships" He spoke earnestly and his eyes mirrored honesty yet mine only showed rage as all I could see was red

"Okay first off, Taylor is my best friend. How dare you put her and I in such a situation?" I screamed at him as he just let out a defeated sigh before hanging his head down low, "Secondly, you can't just fucking randomly kiss somebody without their consent" I snarled realizing the intensity revolving the situation

He rose his head up slowly as if he calculating something mentally before looking at me with a sad smile, "You didn't seem to care much for consent when Blake did it darling" 

My eyes immediately widened in surprised as I was at a shock for words. 

"That was different" I muttered losing the volume in my voice

He let out a humorless chuckle shaking his head, "the only difference from that situation and ours is when he did it, it turned you on. yet when I did it, I'm a monster"  

It was as if he was speaking a language I couldn't understand as I was at a loss for words

"I wanted him to kiss me Mason. I liked him" I refuted 

"But not me, right?" he questioned automatically yet we both knew it was rhetorical as he already knew the answer 

"You want me to apologize for not liking you back? Is that what you want?" I asked incrediously

His eyes locked with mine as he shook his head

"I don't want anything from you anymore" He responded looking at me emotionless causing me to stare back at him surprised at the bluntness 

"I'm sorry, but shouldn't I be the one upset with you right now?" I asked in disbelief of his sudden boldness 

He seemed lost in thought before he rose his shoulders up, "Quite possibly but I have the right to be upset with you as well" 

"And why is that?" I asked suspiciously

His face suddenly turned cold as the anger from his eyes became the only thing apparent causing me to take a step back, "Because I was the nice guy. I was the one who showed you respect and patience and willingness to compromise. I was the one whom listened and complied. Despite all of that though, you still picked the dickhead. I figured if you fell for the bad boy, I might as well change to be the bad boy. Be a complete dickweed for no reason, fuck with girls heads, act nonchalant about everything" He spoke in stoned expression before taking a deep breath in, momentarily shutting his eyes, "I'm not upset you didn't pick me. I'm upset your rejection changed me"

I hung my head staring at the ground as my head remained spinning. 

Over and over his words echoed into my head. I felt my shoulder slump low as I took in all of which he said 

I glanced up at him as his lips were pursed and eyes were glued to the plain wall 

Always there are more narrations than facts. In my narrative, Mason was a boy with a crush mindlessly drifting in and out. Yet in his, I was the bitch who fucked him over. I was the bitch who played him for her own convenience. 

I felt conflicted. What he did was wrong and that is a given, yet what I also did to him for months on loop was wrong. 

"What you did was wrong Mason" I voiced out causing his eyes to interlock with mine, "no matter how you try to manipulate it and no matter what hostility you hold against me, what you just did is illicit" I spoke matter of factually, keeping my tone stern and stance strong

"However, what I did was wrong too. I shouldn't have led you on nor should I have been so naive of the situations and emotions I was arousing. I'm sorry that I made you second guess yourself. You should never change yourself for anybody. Ever, an-" 

Before I could finish, Mason rose his hand up stopping me causing me to look at him in confusion

"Stop" he muttered, "You will apologize and I will forgive you and we will go back on this cycle of me wanting to pursue you and you not wanting a thing to do with me. I apologize for my inappropriate actions. That is not who I am. I tried being someone I wasn't hoping it was someone you wanted but that's fucked up, mate. From now on, all we will be is strangers" He said seriously and before I could say anything, he was already walking away