Lockdown On Planet Sem

Sem Lockdown, Day 12

"How does it look?" Kain asked, lifting up a decoration for Pasqual. It was a box which he'd decorated to look like an old spacesuit helmet. It didn't quite work, partially because it was a cuboid and also because he'd used paint intended for decorating walls to colour it, but it was something at least. The radio station wasn't quite the festive-looking place that the team were used to during Pasqual week.

"It's perfect," Tristan laughed.

"Wait, there's more," Kain grinned and lifted a flap he'd cut in the box and put it on his head. This got another laugh from the others.

Tristan stroked his non-existent beard, "I'd better have a look and see what else I can do to get the place decorated."

"I'll get the ingredients for some traditional meals when I'm out this week," said Akira, "Inasushrimp and chips or inasushrimp rice?"

"Ooh, that sounds good," Miles nodded, "What about some deformcken too?"

Everyone stared at him with cold eyes. This meal was originally the main selling point of Sem's first and only attempt at a chain restaurant. One poor advertising campaign for a dinner made from a sad and distraught-looking bird had done away with the very idea. While it was still technically acceptable to cook the animal, people usually avoided it in the shops, still haunted by the image of the miserable things being brutally murdered.

"I mean, we should remember the darker side of our history too, shouldn't we?" He was met only with silence, "Okay, okay. How about some more Sem-style Hawaiian pizza?"

"Now you're talking, Miles," Akira noted that one down.

"I'll make some paper decorations too, sorry for that terrible suggestion," he laughed awkwardly.

"Do you think we maybe just never really understood the comedic value behind that advert?" Kain asked, "I mean, they are kind of melancholically amusing birds and, by nature, we do kill all the animals we cook. It was just some really dark comedy." The cold stare set in again. "Okay, sympathising with the creator of the advert no one wants to talk about isn't cool. I get it."

"I do see your point, Kain. They just couldn't expect that people were going to like the advert. People aren't always a fan of seeing where their food comes from. It was a mistake, and one we need to move on from."

"Oh, it was definitely a mistake, but it is a bit of a shame the owner had to fall into such disregard just for one bad idea."

Tristan sighed, "Come on lads, we have more important things to talk about."

"Actually," Miles said, "I was wondering if you could help me with something."

******

"Good evening, fellow citizens. I hope the day and our broadcast finds you well.

The prototype for the new home-testing kits arrived today so, Miles and Kain have uploaded a video to our website demonstrating how to use them. If you have any further questions on their use, Miles has asked that you put them in his comments box and says he will get back to you.

I shall now pass over to Kain with the daily news and an exciting announcement about a slight change of schedule tomorrow."

******

"Good evening, people of Sem.

Tomorrow, instead of the usual opening to the broadcast, we will be looking to connect with some of you to discuss your favourite titbits of our planet's short, but unquestionably interesting, history and the way you celebrate the week of Pasqual in your house.

To share something of my own with you just now, I remember my brothers, my cousins and I would chase each other round the field at the back of our house while my mother and father would cook a big double-billed goose along with some of the traditional plants we had growing in our back garden. Then, we'd all sit round the table as one huge family to enjoy the meal and the adults would ruin the whole thing by discussing boring parent stuff, getting mad with each other, doing the typical Douglas-family thing of flipping the table and then the kids would start a food fight. Every single year, it ended with someone's new clothes getting stained; a valuable object getting broken; my auntie and uncle packing off in their fancy hovercar and my brothers and I being sent to bed with our heads hung in shame, yet we still always looked forward to next year when we could do it all again.

It's always a riot when family's involved, isn't it? Anyway, have a think about your own fun tales and we'll hopefully be in touch with you tomorrow.

News-wise, the infection rate of crāpulavirus appears to be stretching down to reach a plateau, with less cases being recorded everyday. So, what does this mean?

It means that you should continue to stay indoors and keep up the good work you have been doing in preventing the spread of the virus so far. As of the third week of this crisis we likely will start letting those who have had the virus leave their houses and get back to business, but we will give you those updates when we receive them from our superiors.

After the month's lockdown, we should then be in position to go back to our daily lives and let the virus run its course, though we should all maintain good hygiene. We are lucky that crāpulavirus is mostly just a sickness bug and doesn't pose too much threat to life so, as long as we stay vigilant and don't let it spread so quickly that it infects the entire working population at once, we will be fine.

Now, here's Miles with the latest medical updates."

******

"Thank you for answering some questions I had from the public there, Kain. I am hopeful that has been of help to you all. We will be setting up comment boxes for all four of us on the website, so you can ask questions to the team member best equipped to answer them.

One of you enquired as to how best you can deep clean your house. Here at the military, we prefer to use manual cleaning methods as oppose to robots and machinery. My advice to you would be to scrub everything yourself as best you can, that way you will know for yourself that your house has been cleaned as effectively as possible, no offence to any household robots out there.

There isn't much more to report on the crāpulavirus situation today, but please do watch Kain and I's demonstration of how to use the new home test kits on our website like the Captain mentioned.

Over to you, Akira."

******

"Thanks, Miles.

That is the end of the attack of Storm Eleanor, and just in time for some good weather too.

Secat will experience drier spells tomorrow with a temperature of 12 degrees centigrade. Simul Santu will be dry as well with a slightly higher temperature of 14 degrees centigrade and Piscanturia will be the same, perhaps just slightly warmer. All three Poles tomorrow will remain dry.

Back to you, Captain."

****** 

"Thank you, Akira, and thanks to all of you again for your constant attention and co-operation.

I look forward to the slightly different schedule and discussion tomorrow and hope you are too. It will be nice to be in contact with you all, it can be hard to put it into perspective sometimes with the four of us just being cooped up in the radio station.

Here's a song from Miles to play us out tonight.

Goodnight, fellow citizens.