Dollhouse | scream series ²

Underlying Mommy Issues?

The past four days have been such a blur of similarity I could practically taste the routine. I got up, had breakfast, ignoring the world while simultaneously wishing their demise, dinner with dad, throw darts at my sister's picture and then back to bed.

Apparently, that wasn't 'healthy'.

That's how I found myself wandering aimlessly around a town I once felt so big in, now after everything, I couldn't help but feel minuscule as I watched people go about their days with no care in the world that it only takes one moment to fuck up their entire lives.

I walked by my former place of employment that I had technically never quit from but couldn't bring myself to set foot inside, Clive's death was one of my major setbacks in the hospice. A heart attack took him suddenly and he was gone.

So if I just stayed outside I wouldn't have to see that he was no longer there.

If I stayed right where I was I could imagine him bossing around the poor person who took over my job thinking the old man was some mean ex mafia guy instead of the loyal and caring person he actually was.

Continuing on my directionless walk with a subtle breath of denial I found myself passing all of my old hangouts, the places all looked the same but everything else was different. The people I cared about the most were gone and new faces littered the area, a lot can change in two years apparently.

Pushing open the black iron gate, I walked down the stone path until I stopped in front of the black headstone, I almost smiled at the tragic irony of it all. Somehow I always end up here when it wasn't my intention to ever come back.

I pulled my hood from my head as I shook my hair with a sigh, coming to terms with being here and subconsciously bringing myself back to the one person who caused all of this pain "No flowers huh" I spoke gazing at the barren marble.

"A part of me wants to tell you that you no longer have any power over my feelings" I started as my jaw ticked "that the doctors cured any violent and aggressive thoughts I have of you" I had worked hard with Doctor Myers after letting my walls down "but I can't".

Sniffing back the hot tears I could feel angrily accumulating in my eyes I felt explosive "I'm so angry at you, at Sidney. God, I'm angry at the world!" I hissed letting it out just as I was taught "and now I'm in the middle of a graveyard yelling at a fucking piece of stone!".

I laughed agitated as I wiped my eyes "I really am crazy" pressing the heels of my hands against my eyes I willed the sick burning feeling from my gut knowing I would never truly be able to forgive and forget with my dead mom.

"Katherine?".

I jumped and turned seeing the caring face of my aunt Kate. History really does like repeating itself with my family, I remember this exact situation happening two years ago before my best friends got stab happy and our lives change forever.

"Oh, sweetheart" Her expression changed after seeing the first few tears running down my cheeks and I let her wrap her arms around me, trying not to think about the similarity between her warm hugs and my mother's own rare ones.

Maybe I have underlying mommy issues?

That's fucked up even for me, I acknowledge that I might have anger issues and hatred for my own kin but being a touch starved teenager with mommy issues just sounded like a weird kink in an awful smut novel.

"I hate her aunt Kate!" I said trying to show my anger but all that came out was a whine that could rival that of a newborn pup "I really do hate her" my hair was being smoothed as the older woman hushed my cries but made no effort to stop my verbal expression escaping.