𝐶𝐴𝐿𝑀 𝐷𝑂𝑊𝑁 | haikyuu!! chatfic

10

kenma: im scared

oikawa: guess who were going for first 🤡

iwaizumi: u better not u dumbfuck

oikawa: i wasnt actually gunna tell them asshole.

kuroo: i think oikawa's still mad at u iWa-ChAn 🤡

iwaizumi: stfu i dont recall hearing where anybody asked

kuroo: i'm hurt 😔 

kenma: no you're not

kuroo: whatever u fucking bottom

kenma: funny, that's not how i remember last night 🤷‍♀️

suga: OK THATS ENOUGH

suga: they ok'd the team thief game thing didn't they

bokuto: HELL YEAH

hinata: kenma why's u use the girl emoji ur a m a n

kenma: idk it was in my recently used

hinata: weird flex but ok 😎 

oikawa: ur not gunna have to worry about anyone taking tobio-chan cus nobody wants such a salty bitch on their team 🤡 

iwaizumi: nobody's gunna want u either bitchboy

oikawa: will u fuck off i literally do not remember asking for your opinion

suga: why can't u guys just fucking get along

oikawa: cus hes a salty asshole

iwaizumi: cus he's a stuck up bitch

kuroo: me and kenma are eating popcorn rn

kuroo: wow

kuroo: this could really be a blockbuster movie one day.

kuroo: im taking screenshots.

iwaizumi: whatever i literally have the best diet on you so u better shut ur fucking mouth before i send it 🤡 

suga: if anyone is gonna send blackmail abt someone i wanna see it first for pleasure puroses and also to make sure that nobody actually gets hurt in the process. fr guys we can't be at each other's throats all the time.

oikawa: iwa-chan please

oikawa: don't send that i will literally let you send anything except for that

suga: IWAIZUMI IF YOU SEND THAT I WILL LITERALLY GO TO AOBA JOHSAI AND RIP YOUR FUCKING LIMBS OFF.

iwaizumi: i-

iwaizumi: ur lucky this time you fugly ass toe fungus 🤡 

[private messages]

oikawa: thank you

oikawa: thank you so fucking much

oikawa: i don't know what i would do if he sent that

oikawa: i'm fucking shaking

oikawa: thank you so much

suga: uh it's ok?

suga: i don't think that would be ok ever to send to a groupchat or really anyone. but for real, what's going on with you two?

oikawa: it's kind of a long story..

suga: i just wanna help you guys so you can function at least as teammates again.

oikawa: hhh ok well me and iwa-chan have known each other since we were just kids and ever since the day i met him... i don't know honestly

oikawa: i guess my entire life i've known i love him. he's literally perfect, how could i not? he hates me though. i'm such a fucking idiot and i'm so self centered and i feel horrible. i just want to tell him that i love him so much and wanna spend my entire life with him but i don't know how to do that if all i'm gonna get in response is something about how narcissistic i am. and he's right. i don't deserve to have someone as perfect as him if all i'm good for is pointing out how amazing i am even though i'm not amazing. i could literally name everything i hate about myself right now (but i won't because that would waste both of our time and make me feel even worse)

oikawa: suga i don't know what to do

suga: i think you need to talk to him

oikawa: so your crows talk bout how good you are at giving advice and you give me that

suga: they talk about that? 🥺🤧💕 but that's literally the best advice i can give for your situation. you need to y'all bum how you feel because he feels bad too. i'm no expert but i really think he likes you, hell even loves you. when you sent the text to the groupchat the other day he felt really bad. he was asking me for advice on what to do but honestly i wasn't sure. i really think you need to fucking man up and tell him this is driving me crazy and you don't even go to my school.

oikawa: that's a little threatening not gonna lie. um i'll talk to him later when it isn't 2 in the morning. 

suga: oh and i know you don't take care of yourself. i'm not stupid. go the fuck to sleep. i'm serious if i text u in an hour and you respond i will literally go to your house and knock you out so you fucking sleep. 

oikawa: i-

oikawa: that was terrifying 

oikawa: do you ever swear at ur crows

suga: go to sleep.

oikawa: of course

[oikawa is offline]