You Saved Me

The Remembrance

I lay awake like every other night. Thinking of nothing, numb to the feeling of everything. I cannot keep living like this. I need sleep, but I just keep remembering. Remembering the times of which I have tried to move on from. When darkness finally takes over and sleep consumes there is a hidden memory that sneaks into my dark slumber.
I hear him crying ,but I cannot find him. There is nothing here except darkness. I blindly continue to walk towards the cry for help. The further I walk I begin to see a  light at the end of the darkness. It continues to grow until I see him. I begin into a full sprint. Each step feels like three steps backwards. As I run I see a tall dark figure contrasting from the heavenly light behind him. The figure picks him up from the floor and begins to walk away."No! Please give him back! Please!" The light begins to ascend away from me and again I am left alone in the darkness.

I awake from my dream in pool of sweat. My once aquamarine cover is balled up on my floor. I reach to the left and grab my water that I keep on my nightstand for nights like this. The Luke warm liquid replenishes my soar throat. Just as I try to relax my breathing I am startled by my alarm. I kneel to the floor and untie my cover to reveal my phone. I tap my screen to make the noise stop. It is four in the morning and I only got three hours of pure nightmare. Well that's a new record. I get up dragging my cover with me and begin to make my bed. Once done I realize something is missing. Mikey. I begin to slightly panic as he is usually always by my side. I look under my bed to find dark glossy eyes staring back at me.Mikey. I remove him from under the bed and set him in the middle of my pillows where he belongs. I walk into my bathroom and I am met with a zombie. My once vibrant chestnut hair has been sweated out into a flat blob running down my back. My once glowing tan is nothing, but pale white skin. My shirt and shorts are all wrinkled.Today is beginning to be a terrible day. As I brush my teeth and wash my face I cannot help, but remember the nightmare I had. A tear slipped and I just let it run down my cheek as I stare at myself in the mirror again. My eyes have lost their lively caramel color.

Regretting looking in the mirror I make my way to my closet in search for clothes. I decide on a thin long sleeve navy blue T-shirt that has a hood in the back,paired with light wash jeans with rips and my black Vans. As I make my way to the bathroom I detour to my dresser to get my lingerie and my phone. I set my things on the sink and unlock my phone to play music. As Rescue by Tongue and Pen began to play I stripped then entered the shower and turned it on the highest settings.
"...Filling my lungs and giving me air to breath
You save me
You save me
You saaaaaave me...."

Those lyrics kept replaying in my head as I tilt my head back to wash my hair and wash my body of the remnants of that horrid dream. After my shower I put on my clothes and walked out to my room to get socks and my shoes.

By the time I go back into the bathroom the steam was long gone and I brushed my wet hair and left it to dry into its natural loose waves. I looked at the time to see that it was 6:15. I grab my phone to turn off the music and walk out to grab my messenger bag by my door. I open my door and walk downstairs. I am met with my step mom making breakfast.

"Hey Mama Dana."She turns around and I am met with a freckle faced red head. She smiles at me the same loving smile she always does.

"Hey Lona. Want breakfast." I drop my bag and sit at the bar

"Yes please I am starving." She smiles and makes my plate. When she's done she slides a plate of four pieces of maple Bacon and two sunny side up eggs. I really love my step mom.

"I heard you this morning so I thought you would want your cheer up breakfast." She said smiling innocently up at me. She was an amazing woman whom was a major factor of why I am who I am today.

"Sorry. Thank you for the breakfast." I looked down at my breakfast feeling guilty for waking her up. Moments later I felt warm arms wrap around me.

"Never apologize for that Lona. Its not you fault. I'm always here if you want to talk." She kissed my forehead and continued to make the kids lunch. I started eating,but stopped. I looked up to see her in the pantry.

"He took him this time."  She stopped dead in her tracks and turned around to look at me.

"Did he say anything this time?" Dana was the only person who knew what my dreams were about. Not even my father knew.

"No, but he just looked at me and took him and just walked away." I looked at my food then back up at her. She looked as if she had lost her cat.

"You will get through it. I know I say it everyday, but I have faith that you will. Just remember all of the good memories. Bad ones will never leave, but they won't be as powerful as the love of the good ones."I knew she was right. She always had the best advice. I got up and went to hug her. Like always she accepted it with open arms.

"Thank you Mama Dana."

" I'm always here for you. Always." I walked back to my seat to finish my breakfast and as I was putting my dish away my sleepy little sister walked in.

"Mama I'm hungry." Dana turned around and picked Meya up.

"Okay Junie B I'm gonna make you pancakes and eggs."Dana sat her down where my place once was.I walk over to the four year old who is more like a 22 year old.

"Hey Meya." She looked up and smiled at me.

"Hey Lona." I kissed her cheek then picked up my bag.

"I'm gonna head out bye Momma bye Meya." They both said bye and I made. My way to the door grabbing my keys from the rack on the wall on my way. I walk out to my black Mustang  GT. I hop in and blue toothed Blue toothed my phone to my radio. Reflections by Misterwives came on and I pulled off from my house. As I am driving I think back to what Dana said. Remembering the good moments that we had together. It made me smile unknowingly. Today just might have a turn around.