Sunshine mixed with a little Hurricane

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I love rain more than anything else because you know it's beautiful and just to be sure it doesn't remind me of someone. Well I don't want to remember any of the creeps who I used to date.
Now you see I might call them creeps but I was the one who was stupid in feelings.
In fact seeing thousands of red flags I still tend to believe people's lies, not because I am good(which I am by the way), it's because I am dumb. I just let them play and most certainly do the cheesy stuffs to scare them out.

When life gives you lemons, make lemon shots because you cannot keep drinking lemonade for a lifetime straight. It's 3 at night and it's raining heavily. Also I am hungry for no reason. Now this is what struggle looks like.

I don't know why this bed isn't that comfortable like really it's very soft but it bounces back like my ex. And let's be real, no one wants that. Well most of the people are crying over their exes or the past shits which is fine because I do that too.
Now the question is ,should I really go make some noodles or should I just stay here for a while doing overthinking shit.

This rain is making this city look more beautiful than it really is, at this hour of night. Suddenly I can just tell that I want to be someone important. I want to feel loved again because I don't know I am tired of feeling left out everyone.
This is insane I know but that's something I want.
Okay that is overdramatic hence I should totally focus on settling my career to something worth it.

For now let's just put on some music and try to sleep. Let's see what I have got;
Umm! I'll just shuffle it rather because it's hard to choose. As I close my eyes, I hear that old melody I stopped listening to years ago. 'Let her go' by Passengers is one of the most beautiful tracks that is closest to my heart. I gotta tell you the lyrics of this song never felt that meaningful until now. I regret a lot of things and I realized that maybe I am the reason why everything gets messed up.
'I'll try better this time' my mind whispered.

(*after a while)
Alarm rings for the fourth time in a row.
Holy shit! I am late again.
Guess what it's the bad hair day again. Something that I don't crave for in Monday's.
Well let's shampoo first and then I'll proceed.
Is it just me or the guys actually are douchebag. I mean they are so difficult to understand. Anyway who wants to analyse the guys, I mean it's lame.

*phone rings**
'Hi if this isn't something urgent can I call you later? '
*whining sounds**
'Hey Vaidehi are you alright? You crying?
What is it? '
*continues whining**
'You see this is the time when you say the words to express your feelings, that we talked about. '
'He left me! I saw him making out in my bathroom. I don't understand why everytime I end up with these creeps.
Why did he did this to me? Why? Is it me? Is it because I blow up ashes every ten minutes? '

*pause**

'It's not you. It's that creep who did this to you. I mean how could he?
Listen honey! I am so sorry this happened to you. I know it's pathetic and all but I want you to know that I am there to listen. I love you. Do you want me to visit you?
We can go out and have a drink if you want. '

'Yeah okay.
Sure I'll come. Bye honey. '

'Bye. '

Well Vaidehi is one of the closest friend/family I own from my high school. She is really a good person. A bit annoying sometimes though but then yeah she is something that is most important to me than anything else. She really loved this guy I know.
I know she has been hurting herself. She thought of a world of him but he thought so little of her.
Poor little thing; all she wanted was to give love and get love in return. I feel bad for her. But then here is the thing that there is nothing that I can do about it.
Feelings are metaphorical and yet it has so much to do with out daily lives. We can't share them. It is something that we own in our personal spaces. No matter how hard we try from outside to apply some cure on it; it will never really work.

All we can do is just calm them down and make them feel loved again. But then again it's about the self work and the effort you give on yourself. If you can't love yourself, then no one will no matter what. Respecting yourself is the most important thing ever, I guess.

*after a while**
It's time to go back home but I am not getting any bus. It's raining and the traffic looks extremely crappy. The drenched roads look beautiful though. I plug in my headphones again and decide to walk down for a little bit.
'The night we met' by Lord Hurton is playing on my headset.
As I walk down these streets, crossing signals, with my baggy shoes;
The memories of the old me flashes down in front of me.
  

                             ~🌸❤~