One Hundred Ways To Annoy Snape (Finished)

If You Play With Fire You Are Going to Get Burnt

I tapped Rock on the shoulder. "Rock, I think that we should show our love and devotion to Professor Snape the proper way," I declared. She stared at me, trying to figure out what I meant by that. If I didn't tell her, she wouldn't get it, so I explained, "We should send him love notes and flowers and whatnot." Comprehension lit up her silver eyes.

"Ah, you are brilliant, Jen," she grinned. "By the end of the day, Sexy won't know what hit him. Oh, he really shouldn't let us help him."

I nodded sagely in agreement. He really shouldn't let us do half the things we've done, but too little, too late. "Well, that's half the fun," I replied, taking out a fresh piece of parchment and a quill. "Dearest Professor, The moments we share are delicious and..." I broke off laughing along with Rock. She gave me a weird look.

"Out of all adjectives, you choose 'delicious'?" she snorted. "I'd go with steamy or memorable. Sexy doesn't realize how lucky he truly is to have us around." Well, I wasn't going to deny that one. If we weren't around when he was sick, he could've gotten something much worse than what he had. So, in my book, he owed us big time. It was only fitting we use it to our advantage and more or less blackmail him.

Turning to face her, I trust the completed note for her to review. "What do you think? Overly romantic? Burning with passion?" I inquired. Rock looked up at me, narrowing her eyes in puzzlement.

Finally, she said, "You made it sound like instructions on how to love someone. You used the most emotionless words in the language. Give me that!" she snarled jokingly, giving me a huge grin afterward. "You don't know how to write a love letter to save your life. You think this is a love letter? I'm going to write one that would make Shakespeare jealous."

*********************

I wasn't disappointed when Snape stormed into the classroom and saw his desk. Admittedly, we might have gone overboard with the decoration, but the man was sick; we thought that this would cheer him up.

The way I saw his eyes widen I didn't think he appreciated our little jester, Rock was smirking letting her Slytherin side come out in full force while the class were on tender hooks trying not to splutter with laughter or let theirs mouths drop open in shock. I thought is looked very... sweet is the wrong word so maybe romantic.

I mean it's not like we filled his desk with pink. I hate that colour with a passion, its almost as bad as orange... Ugh, orange and pink; okay get out these thoughts. Snape is glaring at you look down. Granted we may have gone a little over board but then he did really scare us when he was ill.

"What is the meaning of this?" Snape hissed with his fists clenched tightly beside his sides, he didn't like it. I should have known. We only 'decorated' his desk, he is acting like we killed his favorite pet or something. Does he have a favorite pet? We will have to find that out! "Miss Dewitt," he hissed hovering over my desk with what I could guess would be rage on his face.

"Sexy, Jen can't talk at the moment," Rock piped up and I was grateful but why on earth can I not talk? Oh no she is not going to say...

"Miss Riddle, I am not talking to you shut up instantly, Miss Dewitt," he growled and I could feel the heat rolling of Rock as her anger become uncontrollable even to her. I doubted very much that I would be able to calm her this time. Not that I can most of the time, mind you, but I think the effort is appreciated.

"I WILL NOT! You shut up instantly, Snape. I have told you Jennifer cannot talk, so leave her the hell alone right now. The poor girl is overcome by your sexy looks; its turned her into a speechless, hormonal teenager" Rock fumed and I slapped my face knowing she unintentionally landed me right in hot water. Daring to glance up I saw Snape glaring at me with intensity and instantly dropped my gaze.