miracleboy / tendou satori

+ t h i r t y s e v e n

it's 2:17AM.

when ushijima closed the door of their house, chills embraced the whole frame of the ace of shiratorizawa. it's still dark outside and the cool breeze of spring is definitely something.

while walking towards the meet-up place, ushijima started questioning himself why he agreed to meet outside, fully aware that it is currently an ungodly hour to meet and that the cold breeze is harsh on the skin. he's wearing a thick pajama pants, sweater, and a jacket but still not enough to deny the cold spring.

he could've refused to meet-up. he could've said they can just talk over the phone. he could've said it's too chilly to go outside. he could've said no to tendou but he didn't.

to be truthfully honest, ushijima is not good with feelings or emotions so he's kind of still confused with whatever he's feeling towards tendou. he's hundred percent sure it's not just friendship that he wants but he's not completely sure if he wants him and tendou to be more than just friends. plus his lack of ability to show his emotions also doesn't really help in situations like this. and he needs to consider tendou's feelings as well if ever he plans to make a move.

his train of thoughts were interrupted when he saw the older guy's frame leaning by the wall before the vacant lot's entrance. he immediately ran towards tendou.

"are you cold wakatoshi-kun?" tendou asks as soon as ushijima stood in front of him.

"no," he answers while shaking his head. "are you?"

tendou's wearing a thin black sweater and a checkered pajama pants.

"no. shall we have a walk then?" tendou asks. a smile is plastered in his face, but the smile felt sad. it's glum and there's no spark in his eyes. it's as if all the radiance and brightness were stolen from it.

the walk was silent. their breathings are the only sound resonating in the alleys of the neighborhood. at first it was peaceful and calming but ushijima started to become restless and initiated a conversation to lessen his suffocation.

"what's bothering you, tendou?"

[⚠️warning: mentions of rape and self harm. please skip to + if triggering]

tendou was stopped in his tracks. everything. and all of a sudden, every single fucked up bullshit came to tendou. everything piled up and it's too much to handle, it's consuming me and i cannot fight it off. ushijima, i tried so many ways to stop these shits from happening but it's no use. my drunk and abusive father came to me the night we last talked and he did horrible things to my body. he's a sexual maniac!! i tried to stop him but he just battered me until i cant fight anymore. he forced himself to me but i cannot do anything. i cried and begged him to stop but he didn't! the same thing happened the night after and i felt so molested and sexually harassed that i wanted to just end my fucking life, to end the suffering and this bullshit so i cut my wrists and my thighs but they weren't enough to stop everything.

ushijima grabs tendou's wrist to snap him back to earth and it really did brought tendou back to reality because the cuts were still fresh and it stung a lot when ushijima grabbed his wrist.

+ "why are you crying?" ushijima asks in a worried voice. distress and anxiety etched in his face.

"tendou, please talk," ushijima said, snapping tendou back to reality before he gets drowned by his thoughts again. "i don't know what you're thinking when you're as quiet as that."

tendou looks at the younger, tears still cascading down his cheeks. "was i not talking?"

ushijima puts his one hand in his hips, "yes. and it drives me insane because i have no idea what you're thinking or where you are at the moment. it's just that you seem so.." he pauses as if thinking of a proper term, "lost and broken. what's the matter?"

tendou heaves a deep breath and recomposes himself. he wipes his tear stains before speaking, "another episode of you seeing my weak ass self, wakatoshi-kun. how lame."

tendou laughed but ushijima just eyed at him, brows knitted and his fists were clenched.

"that's not lame, tendou."

"what is it then?"

"trust."

there was a long moment of silence between the two.

"just know that i mean it when i said i am here for you and i will listen to whatever is bothering you. tendou, if you always try to avoid the conflict just to keep the peace, you start a war within yourself. please, let your loved ones know what you feel."

and with that, ushijima started walking towards god knows where, tendou just trailed along. silence enveloping the two until they stopped by a convenience store where ushijima bought two ice cream popsicles; one for him and the other for tendou.

"hmmm wakatoshi-kun?" tendou speaks after a while. ushijima just hummed in response. "thank you."

ushijima did not respond but he's obviously listening so tendou continued. "thank you for insisting to be part of my world. thank you for letting me share my emotions with you. thank you for listening to my nonsense talks. thank you for the texts we shared. thank you for being here. and thank you for this ice cream."

the dialogue was slowly enunciated and every word of it were made of pure gratitude. every word that came out of tendou's lips came from the bottom of his heart. and it's true that he's truly grateful towards ushijima.

"who said that that ice cream is for free?"

tendou's mind went blank at that.

"what the fuck? okayyyyyyy. here, just a moment," tendou fishes some coins in his pocket but before he could even catch some, ushijima softly laughed.

"im just kidding, tendou."

tendou just made weird faces to mock ushijima.

"who even gave you the right to joke around, you little prick. i was being serious here, you dumb fuck."

silence fell between the two again.

"don't you just love the 3AM versions of people, wakatoshi-kun?" he turns his head to ushijima. "messy, honest, and vulnerable."

ushijima turns his head as well and looks back at tendou's flame red orbs, "i love it, tendou."

they stared at each other for quite a while before tendou breaks the eye contact.

"your birthday is in two days, right? who are the guests coming?"

"just the volleyball team, and you. will you join us, tendou?"

"only if you grant the wish i want," he let out a goofy challenging smile.

"sure, whatever that would make you come, tendou."

"okay, don't worry this is SO easy you don't need to spend a penny." ushijima nodded. "show me your funniest make face."

and so ushijima then proceeded on doing his best to make a funny make face which gained a hearty laugh from tendou.

i wish i can capture this moment, they thought to themselves.

"yes, i'll go."