By Myself

foreword

Foreword

Do you know how it feels like to be alone? The feeling that nobody wants to be with you, that nobody cares about you. No one's there to make you feel loved, to make you feel important in life. I'm Jessica Jung, an invisible person. No one cares and loves for me. Sometimes, I wonder why out of many other people, why was I, a selfish and heartless person, given a chance to live? After my sister left, no one cared and dared to be my friend. Was I too mean? Was I too bad? All my friends left me out of the blue. No one loves me anymore. I'm useless in this world. I don't think I'm even part of this crap. 

I was at the park walking by myself, sitting by myself, breathing by myself, and suffering by myself. That's why I hated the words 'by myself', 'alone', and 'lonely'. I just get too irritated hearing those words. Those words make me suffer like this. 

I then decided to kick a rock to lead me wherever it will go. I like that rock. It didn't ignore me, it just stayed to where I kick it. It didn't run nor hide. It didn't think of how ugly and bad I am. I hope there will be someone who will inherit that rock's view towards me. I shook my head. It's impossible,"I'm ugly." I complimented myself and chuckled a bit until a tear escaped from my left eye. 

"You are way too far from ugly." A sudden voice startled me. I quickly wiped the tear and looked at the source of sound. I then saw a lady standing not too far from me.

"And how can you conclude that quickly? I know that statement will only last a second. Later on, you will hate me too." I saw her gave a clueless expression. "Well, you have not known about what everybody thinks about me yet so you have no right to conclude things right away." I shot her with my cold glare. 

She didn't utter anything. I think I clouded her mind already. She must be thinking the opposite thing of what she just said. I chuckled softly at her. I knew this would happen. I turned and was about to leave.

"You left this with you at the bench." I turned around again and saw a blue piece of cloth in her hands. My brows furrowed. I went close to her to get the cloth.

After I got it successfully from her hands, "Don't believe in stupid lies." She turned her back to me and left, leaving me staring at her until her back gets blurrier in my vision.