Blurred Lines - Henry Cavill

Part 9

It's been three weeks since we finally were honest with each other and started working on our relationship. I've been working, the usual. Henry has been working on his new TV show. He is so excited about it, and I'm just happy to see him getting better and enjoying himself.

He is practically living in my house ever since that day. He has his own drawer and his own spot in the closet. He has his toothbrush in the bathroom, his own cereal box and yoghurts in the kitchen and his own slippers. He goes grocery shopping with me. He helps me clean the house. We are attached to the hip. Like a couple.

I love him so much. I've never told him this before, just didn't want to push it, or pressure him, I guess. And he's never said it either. Deep down that bugged me. Did he really love me? Maybe he was just confused, mixing up what he was feeling. I had some insecurity attacks sometimes, I'd question everything. He showed me every day he liked me, but... did he really love me? Would I ever be able to fulfill the emptiness he had in his heart? My rational side knew that he probably just wasn't ready to say it, but I just couldn't stop my overthinking. I wish I could though.

Not having a label yet didn't help. To be honest, I don't care if we have a label or not, what matters is that we're together, that's he's here with me. But it just increased my fear that he wasn't in love with me, that maybe I was just someone, something he discovered that helps him deal with the pain. Actions speak louder than words, they say. And it's true. He showed me nothing but love and care. But sometimes, we need to hear it too. We need reassurance.

But then again, we are not most people. He's been through a lot, me as well, and we both need our time to get it right. We needed to take things slow. So I'm kind of battling my own thoughts all the time. As if I had two different me's, sitting at each of my shoulders arguing back and forth with one another.

I'll give him as much time and space he needs, because I know what it's like to be pressured. And I totally respect him and his needs. But I just can't stop it from bugging me. I push those feelings away, but I know they're still there. The uncertainty, the fear, the insecurity... it's all there.

No matter how much I try to change my way of thinking, it still bugs me. I just never imagined it was bugging him too. Until tonight, after dinner, when we were lying down in my couch watching TV and he touched the subject.

I ask him something regarding a character of the show we are watching but he doesn't reply. I look up at him and he was focused on nothing, lost in thought.

"Earth to Henry!" I call, snapping my fingers in front of him.

"Uh?" He jumps slightly upon hearing my voice. "Sorry, I was not here right now."

"I could see that." I affirm, studying his features, and he still looks a bit off. "What's wrong?"

"It's nothing." He shrugs off, now facing me.

"It has to be something if it left you thinking about it so intently." I state matter-of-factly. "But if you don't want to talk to me about it, that's fine." I wave it off as I get up from the couch and out of his grasp.

I don't mean to pressure him to talk to me. But this rubbed me off the wrong way. It hurt me. What kind of relationship are we supposed to have if we can't even talk and be honest with each other when something is bothering us? We're supposed to support each other.

"Where are you going?" He asks hurriedly, his gaze following me as I walk away.

"Bed. I'm tired." I mumble, not even bothering to look back at him.

"Come back here, (Y/N)." He calls out, softly. "Please."

I stop in my tracks and look back at him. He is now sitting on the couch, and has this indecipherable look on his face, almost like fear... nervousness even. Henry swallows hard as he feels the cushion shift beside him as I sit down.